Death of Cannabis... Harvest of Love

[Relic2279]

I took a different route. My girlfriend gave me a similar ultimatium. Guess who ended up getting kicked.
I've had my share of long term relationships. I know that, no matter how much you are in love, how blind you are to everything else because of a women, your relationship will probably fail. (I'm being a realist, not a pessimist).

They say that more then 50% of all marriages fail. Ever do more research? The odds of you and your woman lasting as BF and GF are almost 75% against you. If you marry her, then your odds get a bit better. They drop to 50/50.
On the day she gave me that ultimatium, I had called around and found a place to move. Luckily I was on a month to month basis with my rent and was out in 24 hours. Didn't tell her where I moved too. I think she regretted the incident as she still to this day calls me.
My grow was bigger then yours. I've been saving up so I can start up my own business. Unfortunately, MJ is an intergral part of my savings and once I go legit, I will hopefully have achieved my american dream. Your grow wasn't as important to you as mine was to me, so I can see how easy that desicion was. I hope your choice was based on a comprimise, and not an ultimatium like mine. Any woman who tells you what you can and can't do, is not worth being with. A relationship will fail without comprimise. Good luck.

[Relic2279]

The attachment... Fact or Fiction??

[jamstigator]

My woman needs cannabis, so she doesn't have to use prescription meds to sleep (she's a total insomniac without some type of medication). Even so, she was extremely paranoid, but I held firm, and she's happy now that I did, because she's off all those (addictive) prescription meds, she feels better, she sleeps better, and it's cheaper than buying pot off the street. Plus, she knows she's getting safe, reliable medication this way, not some street stuff laced with who-knows-what. Had SHE held firm, I probably would have given in and trashed the growing idea (going without pot, even for years at a time, is not something I have ever found particularly difficult). However, we've been together (unmarried) for...mmm...17.5 years now. I don't think I'd have given in if I'd only known her for a few months or a year or two. But fortunately, she needs the pot more than I do.

I hope your relationship goes well! If nothing else, you have some bargaining currency next time you want something and she doesn't, because you have already given up something you enjoyed.

[Jdog7000]

I have a recomendation for insomnia.
Weed saved my life.
I would tell the chick to tyake a hike if she gave me that choice between her and weed.
It's like you said.
It will probably fail anyway.

[stinkyattic]

Turtle, you're a wise man.
Go with your heart. But don't get rid of your gear! I expect to see you hanging out with Latewood and his veggies, at least!

All the nay-sayers who are talking about women sucking your soul...
Bad relationships go both ways. Sometimes the behaviors that men feel are so controlling, cold, whatever are just self-defense mechanisms.

If you are a truly happy couple, you have nothing to worry about.

Just don't hold it over her head that you made that big sacrifice. It isn't healthy.

When I first met my boyfriend, I didn't even smoke. It took a long time to just get used to the idea of having MJ around the house, and there were times that I was like, whoa, this is too much for me to come home to every night. I'm not going to lie, it was like a year before I was even comfortable with the amount that he smokes.

Now we live together, very happily, and he builds me cool shit for my growroom and I grow for both of us to enjoy together.

The trick is, neither of us really had any expectations. It just took some time to find that comfort level... It's like 2 people sitting on a kind of small sofa. It's possible for both of them to get comfortable, but takes a little wriggling around and changing positions...

You have a whole future to maybe show your partner that the ability to nurture another living thing, even if it's a plant, is actually one of the best qualities she could ever want in a man.

Best of wishes to you.

[jamstigator]

I don't agree that it's unhealthy for one person in a relationship to have their sacrifices recognized by the other. That's not the same thing as 'holding it over her head', but if she doesn't recognize the sacrifice, that isn't right, and reinforces the belief that she can make you do (or not do) whatever she wants. Relationships (that last) are about give and take, compromise. You give up some things to make your partner happier, but the converse should also be true, else the relationship is one-sided and likely doomed to failure, or at least there will be an undue amount of unhappiness endured by the one making the bulk of the sacrifices. Compromise is VERY healthy for relationships, but compromise involves sacrifice by both parties, and recognition of those sacrifices.

[stinkyattic]

You're right on.
I completely agree that sacrifices should be recognized, and that both parties need to be flexible enough to make them.
If she is as wonderful as Turtle says, I'm sure she will see it without him having to remind her of it constantly, or the next time he wants something, like someone else suggested.

[rhino44]

move it outdoorsnext year and dont let her in on it

[BongHitBoy420]

Turtle,

Glad to hear you are in love.

In my years of observing others and myself in relationships with women, I've come to the following conclusion:

Women will destroy the person you are and mold you into the person they think you should be, regardless of whether it's in your best interest or not.

I've heard guys talk about things like "sacrifice", and "choosing your battles"; it's all a bunch of self-delusional bullshit.

Here's the deal: Women only allow the men victories on things which don't bother the women and have no impact on their "plans" for their men. This sets the stage for men to think that they "get away" with things, or that the men "put their foot down" on something, when the women didn't really care in the first place. This gives men the illusion that they share power with the women in the relationship.

It's all a lie.

Your woman has made you turn your back on a passion of yours because she doesn't like you doing it. That is the true reason why she hen-pecked you into killing your babies. Sure, she used reasons like getting busted by LEO, doesn't like the smell, it raises the electricity bill, etc. But the real reason is that she just plain doesn't like it. Also, it's a way of her getting you to surrender to her on something which she KNOWS you are passionate about. This establishes a precedent for her holding power in the relationship.

Next thing you know, she's going to be redecorating the place, making you eat vegatarian and start dressing a way you wouldn't have ever allowed yourself to before you met her (e.g., khakis and a golf shirt with loafers). Hell, she'll even dictate how your hair should be cut.

Ask any married man about the motorcycle they had to get rid of, or the trips to Vegas they aren't allowed to go on anymore, or the season tickets to baseball they had to give up.

Then, you should ask what the woman had to give up...Oh, yeah, she just has to let the guy fuck her once a week and give a blowjob or let him do anal on anniversaries.

Who has the net gain?

Good luck in love. I hope to be as happy as you someday soon! :thumbsup:

I study people for a living - I study people for fun - and I study women to seduce them with an alarming success rate. You are TOTALLY correct. Which is why the all the old cliche's about nice guys finishing last, girls fall for bad boys etc. Bottom line is females like a challenge. Females want to conquer with love. Why do you think females love the BAD BOY -- because it is a challenge. Period. To change him. What biger challenge?

Want proof? This is a simple lil thing to prove exactly what im saying.... Next time you talk to a woman and things are going good.... DO NOT ASK her for her phone number -- instead challenge her. "Its too bad well never get a chance to connect like this again... i dont have your number"

You just tossed down the gauntlet. And shes female. She wants to prove you wrong. 90% of the time your gonna get that number just from sheer principal alone. She wants to prove you wrong. And on the plus side no rejection -- you never asked

I'm true to myself and myself only. If --SHE-- has a problem with what --I'M-- into, like, engaged in, currently doing... Shes obviously not the one for me. I change for noone but me and me alone because *I* want to. I'm born into this world myself -- and leave this world myself. Theres how many billion of people on this planet? and 2/3 of them are women. Pfft change this. Like doritos -- crunch all you want well make more.

[BongHitBoy420]

remember too that her logic center in her brain is um... little to non existant. to a female its not what they think is right or wrong, good or bad. has nothing to do with the facts, or if its even moral. to a female, emotions rule completely. from cheating to seeing someone and breaking up with the other guy to be w/ the new guy... to crying for hours because they dont understand why XX happened... Giggleing for hours over photographs to tearing up on movies. Emotions rule her being.

Lets put this into terms guys can understand. Lets pretend its a BIG GIRL. Lord knows how you ended up w/ her in the first place, but lets pretend. Now shes feeling a milkshake right... I mean shes REALLY feeling this milkshake but shes suspose to be on a diet. I ask you good sir -- knowing full well you cannot reason with her because logic is mute (shes on a diet) and shes feeling that milkshake... I dunno about you -- but i'll be damned if imma be standing in the way of bertha and the milkshake ya know?!? Cant talk reason to an emotional being.

Wake up guys. Women most certinaly do have plans. She indeed does have her plans for you and she most certainly tests you. Remember after the first date or there abouts... betcha... betcha... shes asked you what color her eyes were? maybe what her middle name is... Betcha at some point - she makes it a point to put you around kids... just to see how you are around them.


betcha

betcha

you've heard before "what color are my eyes?"

TEST HER ASS BACK. IF SHE DONT PASS KICK HER TO THE CURB.

More at stake for her than you. Beauty... goes away w/ age. Too many rely on that and that alone. Like a gallon of milk that goes sour after it expires... shes definatly got her lil plans. And she definatly wants them executed before she turns sour. Cant sell sour milk....