The phone is still shut off. I call and the answering machine is some little fucking kid saying "Hi this is ______'s phone. He's not here right now, please leave a message" and it picks up on the first fucking ring. I hate it. Hearing it fills me with rage, as if they are mocking me right this instance. I want to cry, but I'm too angry to cry. I want a cigarette, but I don't have any left. I want to go to bed, but don't want to miss them if they come. I JUST WANT TO GET AHOLD OF THEM.