i really really want to more than anything, you know. i have shown her one of those videos already, along with a PETA video of a little monkey getting beat and stuffed into a small tube and abused and one of a golden retreiver that get beat in the face with a skateboard (it was all over the internet) and after she watched them the only thing i got from her was "so??"

she said that it doesnt matter if i turn vegetarian becuase its not like theyll stop killing the farm animals. they will still kill them no matter what i do. and she said its not like im killing them, im just eating the meat of the animals that have been killed and processed by someone else. then she said stop acting stupid and trying to be like other people. i really wanted to punch her face in. and yesterday when she made that little bunny cry, i yelled at her and was getting ready to shove her into the pavement but i held back. i really want to show her how badly i feel for these animals but she just thinks im going through a pahse. she thinks that since im a boy i will get older and turn into a man and not be so soft for animals. tells me that i act like a grl. if there was a day when one of my family members hurt a puppy that belonged to be, i wouldnt hesitate to beat them sp hard. and im not trying to talk tough.

i hate myself for not being able to hold up with myself and stay a vegetarian. having to go through all the verbal torture and having words thrown at you for trying to stay away from meat. i wish i could make a difference in my life.

(i dont really have a problem with eating seafood... i guess i just feel this way for mammals.)

also ghost, she will probably starve me and if she sees that its really affecting me then she would do whatever she can to force me to eat