Well, I think I've realized something...

I too hate American society, but atleast I'm aware of other societies that I appreciate. I'm sorry, I just got finished watching this anime movie and it kind of hit close to home. Perhaps my logic behind my dislike, or hatred for society comes from a deep-rooted hatred for myself. I can't "connect" with anyone. It's as if my heart is blocked off to the outside world...and even to myself. Or maybe I'm just being a drama king...? Who knows? I certainly don't. I see I live in a world of pain and uncertainty, and I wonder if that's the reality I've created for the rest of the world, too? That's wrong, isn't it? I think that no one cares if I confronted them or not...no one cares if I talked to them, but I also can't help to think that it's because I don't care if anyone talks to me or even wants me...I can't believe it. Here I am, though still looking for help and advice. Advice I suppose on how to love yourself, because I don't think I do...and I don't think I know how. Hmm...I've had that Frankenstein book for quite some time...I think I'll read that. lol Life is funny and miraculous...how being completely oblivious can actually be an internal alarm going off--directing you--because you've lost control. It's all pointing to one thing.