Stressing Hard about Smoking - Girlfriends and Reefer

[ScarlettCrush]

talk to her, tell her making you feel like an asshole really isn't working for you and she should find another way to motivate you other than nagging and acting like a cop.
(pride- ask for an obituary as proof, that story is laughable)
or you guys could not date such uptight chicks, they can't be good in the sack.

[Mr.Whitey]

I dunno mines pretty great in bed but she is REALLY, REALLY fucking confusing. I mean to the point that she seems crazy. I'm fairly smart, I know that much, but shit I can't figure her out sometimes.

I smoke and she knows but everytime I mention I'm going to be smoking she starts in with a lot of "I really don't like you smoking weed Trevor". I tell her it's less harmful to my body and mind then the alcohol you drink (of which I'm not a fan cus it makes people billigerent assholes) and she says it's not about her and it's not the same thing.

I fucking hate relationship double standards like this.

I didn't want to be a dick but last time she nagged on me for it I went after her about the drinking. She said I should quit and I said "I would quit smoking it all together, only if she quit drinking too". She actually fucking agreed. When I got back home I laughed my ass off because I knew that shit wouldn't hold as we were going to a party the next night.

We go and sure enough she started drinking when I went off to talk to some friends.

Next day I lit up as we were walking down the street together. She tried to start and I just said don't even start. Now things are pretty good for me.

[activedenial]

The last girlfriend I was serious about hated me smoking, even though she used t do it. She quit drinking alcohol as well. I would smoke up right before bed and she would say can't you go without it. That pissed me off. It felt like I had two different moms. When I broke up with her I felt like a free man released from prison.

[Big Calhoun]

I'm all too familiar with this type of scenario. Despite the differences bwtween my wife and I when it comes to smoking, we still ended up together and are very happy.

1st thing I learned was to not talk about weed around her. She obviously wasn't comfortable with the subject and I didn't want that to turn into her telling me to not smoke anymore. So if I got some good stuff or whatever, I'd restrict the conversation to only friends of mine that I knew smoked.

2nd, make time for her. My wife was used to watching her brother smoke; he'd blaze and just sit like a bump on the log. When I blaze, I like to go out and do things so I always dragged her along. Some things she liked, others she didn't care for. But I wasn't creating a situation where I would smoke and not want to do anything, leaving her bored.

3rd, Don't smoke around her and tell her you smoked. This probably helped me the most. I would just step into the hallway and smoke and then go into the bathroom and clean up. She never would know unless I didn't Visene up or something.

In general, I've learned when dealing with a significant other that doesn't like herb, the best strategy is just never let the two meet and keep everything separate.

[Mr.Whitey]

....so lie?

[are you kind]

my last girlfriend was a total stoner. it was cool. this one time we were at a party and i was smoking with everyone and since she was with me she smoked a ton of weed and she was so high. it was cute.

[SensiRide]

She called me last night and told me I had a "problem".



<3

Yeah, my mum found some weed in my room when I was 16 and advised me to go and see my doctor about my cannabis addiction
Didnt help that she is a nurse and is totally anti-drugs (she deals with a lot of junkies)

Anyway, yeah, communication is the key! Sit down and have a really good talk. Its not fair that she's making you feel like shit over something you feel is perfectly normal. If its stopping you getting on with your every day life then yeah maybe you need to address the problem, but if she's just nagging all the time and driving you away from her - then tell her - maybe she doesnt realise what a negative effect its having on you.

[Big Calhoun]

....so lie?

Nah, not really lying...more like 'don't ask, don't tell'. My wife knows I smoke and she knows when I'm going outside to smoke. But I don't make a production out of it and she just as soon as forgets when I come walking back in.

It really does come down to communication. First, everyone has to be on the same playing field...ie. you smoke and your S.O. knows you smoke. Second comes protocol, decide how it will be handled.

[are you kind]

Yeah, my mum found some weed in my room when I was 16 and advised me to go and see my doctor about my cannabis addiction
Didnt help that she is a nurse and is totally anti-drugs (she deals with a lot of junkies)

my parents wanted me to go to the psychiatrist when i got caught smoking for the first time. i was like ''so i smoke weed, but you don't like it, so you want me to start taking pills? like addictive, dangerous benzos? because i love me some xanax bars i'll get a script and start selling that shit and get barred out all day every day"

so she stopped trying to get me to get put on meds

[ScarlettCrush]

you don't have to lie, but if this is a behavior you do not intend to stop for her then you need to let her know that this is how you are and that part isn't changing, however you will be as safe as you can be with it, keep her out of danger, and keep it out of her face. That is a fair compromise, also let her know that you would not put her in any unsafe or illegal situation because of your habits.