Quote Originally Posted by friendowl
its gonna be another long night
thank you everybody for just
letting me get this shit out

i feel better than i did this morning
ever need to talk privately tell me your sn for aol/aim i have all people blocked not on it, but dude i've been through something very similar, if you ain't got noone else to relate to, to know what you feel, to know those thoughts that go through your head of 'what if' which are the worst, becuase when they're gone, all you can do is think of all the diffrent ways of how you could of saved them, how things could have been diffrent. and that's not a good train of thought, trust me, as long as you blame yourself (not saying you are, but i did, and mom still does) nothing will go away, and it will only get worse... if you plan on going to the funeral do what i did, look him in his 'eyes' or directly at this face, and say everything you wanted to say, after i did all that with my bro i touched his hand, and simply said 'goodbye bro, i hope your better off' and after that it kinda sucked in finally, that he's gone, and ther'es nothing i can, but straighten out me and my other brother (which is impssoble, but someday when i have the means i will) so that my mom (even tho ihate her) doesn't have to go through this all over again. i'm what gives her her strenght, i'm the shoulder she cries on, for hours.. i'm the oldest, so i feel i'ts my responsiblity to try and keep everyone together, try to keep everyone stable.. i don't know how old you are, but i'm 20 and i've gone through in my life more then most average 40 year olds.. i'm very insightful (tho ihave problems putting it in words) and maybe if you feel you need it let me know... send me an email to [email protected] with the name you can be contacted wtih through aim/aol.... and i'm on ALL the time, but i'm not always on aol...