off my chest

[slipknotpsycho]

this weekend changed me forever
life is like a bad dream and i wanna wake up
this saturday i went on a roadtrip with my son
to santa paula canyon for some hiking.
during our hike i had a real vivid vision that my
two year old was shot by a stray bullet at the party
that she was going to.it really scared me to the point
where i turned around and drove home.
i called on the cell phone to check but got no answer

around 9pm a car pulls up to my house.its the homie p-wee
he tells me that the party is good and lets go.
i wanted to see my kid so i went.
she was fine and i felt kind of dumb for tripping
a few minutes later p-wee and another homie want
to blaze a joint so we go to the front.

as we are smoking i hear footsteps running up.
i turn to see a big revolver barrel pointed at my face
i froze.i stared at some guy who i felt was about to shoot me.
i had that moment where i see my life and shit
but he swings the gun to my left and shoots p-wee point blank
in the chest twice.
i am fucking dead is what im thinking.i seen p-wee fall and blood everywhere.
the shooter runs away and im on the floor holding my homie.
he's bleeding bad and breathing weird.he looked peacefull
he took two last lil breaths and thats it.as i lay there holding
my dead homie something inside of me snapped.
i dont know what it was that broke but i am not the same.
i think that i am going insane.when his mom and sister seen him
laid out the cries they made broke my heart.the pain they are feeling is
unimaginable.
i myself am fucked up in the head from this.when i look at my hands
i still see blood on em.smoking weed dont help the only thing that
seems to help me right now is alcohol.ive been drunk for two days.

i just needed to get this off my chest cuz i cant really talk to anyone
about how i feel.i am so grouchy ifeel like destroying something

dude, that just sucks. my brother was shot point blank with a shotgun in the chest/stomach... i can see him when i close my eyes, laying on the ground, surrounded by blood, and that scared blank look... and i can feel his cold skin, from the day i said my goodbyes at the funeral...

gotta trust me on something tho, don't turn to the bottle, even if it does numb the pain, it's only making things worse in reality. go see a psychiatrist, or someone you can talk to... right now you're a prime candidate for PTSD, and there are two things that can make it go 10x worse, one is drinking heavily, as it only brings out the misery, and doesn't really allow you to 'vent' the next is clamming up and holding everything inside...

do you even know why? or are you as lost as everybody else? (why your homie was shot i mean) i still dont' know why my brother was killed, and after the dude shot him, they (more than just him) split up a bunch of drugs and atleast the shotgun, and run all this shit blocks away to diffrent houses, then they came back to call 911... my brother was still alive and still conscience when the first emergency responders got there, which was a cop.... if they had atleast called 911 first, then ran to hide the shit, he might still be alive.... and that's the part that kills me the most...

[friendowl]

he got shot over a bitch
some guy came up to his girlfriend
and shook her hand and said that she was
fine and should be with him
when p-wee heard this he snapped
he said to that fool thats my hyna get the fuck outta here
or i will fuck you up
the other fool laughed and took off
then came back and killed my homie
just like that.

[Bong30]

Friendowl............wow Sorry for your loss....my pryers are with you.


You dont get shot in a vaccum. what happened? why did he shoot him? Not you? did they get him? What if you had a gun?

Stay strong for the little ones.....

what did your dream mean? vision? you were right..... just not about your 2 year old.

its called the Collective Consciousness.............

[Bong30]

he got shot over a bitch
some guy came up to his girlfriend
and shook her hand and said that she was
fine and should be with him
when p-wee heard this he snapped
he said to that fool thats my hyna get the fuck outta here
or i will fuck you up
the other fool laughed and took off
then came back and killed my homie
just like that.

shit bro

its nice here in arvada

[friendowl]

i did have my strap on me
it just happened to fast
after he went down i gave
my heat to be hidden
cuz pigs on the way
even p-wee had his gun
just got caught slipping
all this happened in like a 5 second time frame
no time to react

[activedenial]

You might have changed history with that dream. Instead of your child dying, your friend took it instead. You are here for a reason I guess? GROW ON in his memory.

[Skink]

All I can say is God meant for this to happen,take the experience and grow...

I stared down the barrel of a magnum once and it was a very humbling experience...

RIP to your Bud,he feels no pain now....

[Bong30]

i did have my strap on me
it just happened to fast
after he went down i gave
my heat to be hidden
cuz pigs on the way
even p-wee had his gun
just got caught slipping
all this happened in like a 5 second time frame
no time to react

damn.........shit.....


did you know the guy? had you seen him before? did the cops get him? did you or your boys? (get him?)

just wondering

[God v2.0]

dude. are you freakin serious?








wow.







take it easy, take a few days off and relax, let it sink in and come to terms with it. its going to be very sad and very painful but it has to happen sooner or later.

[friendowl]

never seen him before
most people need attention
what good is it if you kill someone
and no one knows about it
people talk and when they do we listen
the lil homies are heated right now
and are very dangerous to be around
someone will die but most likely it wont be the shooter
thats the fucked up thing about gang violence
there is no end.
i myself am not involved in any retalliation
if i didnt have kids i would probobly murder
as many of them as i could find but then id be fucking myself
i cant do that