off my chest

[friendowl]

this weekend changed me forever
life is like a bad dream and i wanna wake up
this saturday i went on a roadtrip with my son
to santa paula canyon for some hiking.
during our hike i had a real vivid vision that my
two year old was shot by a stray bullet at the party
that she was going to.it really scared me to the point
where i turned around and drove home.
i called on the cell phone to check but got no answer

around 9pm a car pulls up to my house.its the homie p-wee
he tells me that the party is good and lets go.
i wanted to see my kid so i went.
she was fine and i felt kind of dumb for tripping
a few minutes later p-wee and another homie want
to blaze a joint so we go to the front.

as we are smoking i hear footsteps running up.
i turn to see a big revolver barrel pointed at my face
i froze.i stared at some guy who i felt was about to shoot me.
i had that moment where i see my life and shit
but he swings the gun to my left and shoots p-wee point blank
in the chest twice.
i am fucking dead is what im thinking.i seen p-wee fall and blood everywhere.
the shooter runs away and im on the floor holding my homie.
he's bleeding bad and breathing weird.he looked peacefull
he took two last lil breaths and thats it.as i lay there holding
my dead homie something inside of me snapped.
i dont know what it was that broke but i am not the same.
i think that i am going insane.when his mom and sister seen him
laid out the cries they made broke my heart.the pain they are feeling is
unimaginable.
i myself am fucked up in the head from this.when i look at my hands
i still see blood on em.smoking weed dont help the only thing that
seems to help me right now is alcohol.ive been drunk for two days.

i just needed to get this off my chest cuz i cant really talk to anyone
about how i feel.i am so grouchy ifeel like destroying something

friendowl Reviewed by friendowl on 05-01-2006. off my chest this weekend changed me forever life is like a bad dream and i wanna wake up this saturday i went on a roadtrip with my son to santa paula canyon for some hiking. during our hike i had a real vivid vision that my two year old was shot by a stray bullet at the party that she was going to.it really scared me to the point where i turned around and drove home. i called on the cell phone to check but got no answer Rating: 5

[BigHomie]

holy shit.
i don't no what else to say...

glad you are ok.
sorry about your homie

[xblackdogx]

i hope you come to peace with
what you are feeling torn with

i am sorry for your loss
and hope those close to him
feel some sort of closure

[dog420]

omfg man

well at least ur child is un harmed, for ur homie, what can i say but hes resting in peace! Why he get shot? do you know? Man thats a sad story i feel for ya man!

Peace, try and get some reat i know its easy for me to say that but do try!

[Wesley Pipes]

Owl sorry to hear that bro, i really dont know what else to say dude cuz i cant imagine how your feelin. Anyway Peace dude and do whatever you feel is right and i know what i'd think was right if i was in your shoes, and it don't involve turnin the other cheek.

[Psycho4Bud]

Sorry to hear of your loss!

Hang tough my friend, sounds like you have lil' ones depending on ya.

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

FriendOwl, I'm so sorry.

[cannabis campbell]

Im sorry friendowl, its good to talk about it (even if its on the internet or wherever and just get things out and of your chest instead of keeping them in), Do you know why he got shot, or who shot him.

Who knows what would of happend if you didnt turn the car round.

It was just meant to happen if it didnt happen then it would of happened later on.

Just be thankful it wasnt your daughter, once again sorry about your homie

[geonagual]

Just dropped in from work and read this thread.
Holy shit! WTF!
I can only imagine how your feelin'
I am thinking revenge, sadness, confusion and anger
Remember your kids and who needs you around
Ever think it may be time to get the fuck out of East L.A.
Come inland, it is much safer out here.
Take it easy
late

[friendowl]

thanx for the words.
it feels good to tell someone
i dont like telling people nothing
cuz they really dont give a shit
i cant believe he's gone
i inspired him to grow
he lived in a onebedroom apartment
and he turned his restroom into a grow spot
he didnt let no one use the restroom when the
lights were off that shit made me laugh
all family members that had to use the restroom
had to go downstairs to the neighbors