weed definitely makes me calmer. long time ago, middle of the night, I was on a munchie run (with a cute chick whose name I can't recall...good kisser tho). parked at mac's milk, the only car in the whole lot, and went inside. whilst we were browsing, the newspaper delivery guy came...he drives a big white van, with side-opening doors (the kind that have really big hinges that stick out an inch or so). for whatever reason, he backed into the space DIRECTLY NEXT to my car...and left about 5 inches of space for me to open my door and get in. I was high as fuck, so I knocked on his window (he was doing paperwork or something), and asked him to move.

he yelled at me to 'fuck off, I leave soon, very busy tonight' (he's middle eastern if that helps you picture the horrible broken english). I wait another minute for him to go, and he hasn't even started his van yet, so I decide to try and squeeze into my car. I open the driver door, which is resting against the side of his van, and wiggle my way into my car...I'm about halfway in, one foot still on the ground, when the guy cranks his engine, revs it, and slams the gas...

the hinge on his van caught the door of my car, and DRAGGED MY VEHICLE about fifteen feet forwards, while it was in park. and while I was halfway out of the car. luckily he stopped, only to get out and yell at ME for MY BAD PARKING JOB. (remember, I was parked first in an empty lot.)

if I had been sober, I probably would have punched him in the mouth and stolen his wallet to pay for the damage to my door...but since I was high as the proverbial kite, I talked slowly and calmly as he flailed about screaming obscenities. after about twenty minutes of yelling, I managed to convince him that a) he's lucky he didn't kill my because he didn't look to his right and see me before stomping the gas, b) the damage to both vehicles was negligible (I still have the indented door, near the handle, but it still closes/locks fine) c) its late, and he can't afford to be in jail for the night, because his family might starve or something.

we ended up trading insurance info, and going our seperate ways. and of course, my performance really impressed Didi (that was her name! shit, I gotta call her)...of course, his way was probably to go hit somebody at the 7eleven down the road, my way was back to my lady friend's place for some drugs and hot sex. I think my way was better.