I can really understand now tho why ppl would ya commit suicide (not saying im even considering) but it feels like your in a dream or something and the only way out it to end it abruptly, it feels like a prison and all the hype about it is just to stop you from escapeing the prison. Like this shit aint fun to be thinking about, but it just comes in. It feels also like youve found something out (like the prison thing) that you dont want to know and your praying that you forget.