weed.. is it really thattt bad for you?

[beachguy in thongs]

Yes. It is a vile weed, much worse than cocaine or heroin. Marihuana, as it is called by the Mexicans, is brought up from the border by Mexican drug cartels. Afro jazz musicians smoke it, for it slows down time and allows them to include extra notes, also known as "devil notes", into their horrid music. These "devil notes" are called so because listening to such filth can turn one into a worshipper of Satan.

Why, even one hit from this "reefer" can turn you into a psychopath, and ingesting this substance orally can cause one to become a cannibal. Lock your doors, hide your children, and for God's sakes, don't give in to the reefer madness! Oh, and every time you take a hit, the baby jesus cries. There's also something about communism I believe.

Nah, I'm just kiddin ya's.

Sorry about that, I'm high.

That was pre-meditated kiddin'.

ideally would like to smoke one per week

I wish my pain waited a week.