Quote Originally Posted by Ap0c4lyPtIcF4t3
Those types of thoughts will tear you apart, solely beacuse you are powerless to overcome them on your own. I would torture myself with these thoughts because i wanted to change them on my own so badly that i couldnt sleep at night. I would have and still would give my life to change these things, assuming our thoughts are similar.

So what can you do you ask? From just what you have said I assume you have a personality similar to mine. If you are open to new things I would suggest you take up the art of meditation. Some people will disagree that it is an art but I truely believe that it is an art. It is something that can be frustrating at first but with it comes patience and inner peace. What you desperately need is inner peace, in your case(and mine) i would more preferably call it inner healing. If you are interested i could point you in the direction of some material that could get you started and will teach you what meditation is all about.
Our thoughts are probably similar, but not the same. Yes, if you wouldn't mind, I'd love to pointed in the right direction. I'm a fan of self-help, but I need something spiritual, I think. I'm all ears, brother. Show me the way.