our moron of a president (i apoligize to any of you who LIKE the fucker ><) signed some bill or some shit to make DST begin 3 wks earlier and end 1 wk. later...or somethin...

i'm kinda confused at the moment.

but i dont really get a vacation...and i dont have a totally difficult job its just the tediousness of it and the lifting and the stress of where we live and the details of our home life (violent family members who live nearby etc etc) and just in general the feeling that you cant ever get your head above water...y'know?

i just spend a couple of hours (maybe just one idk it felt like along time) with my friends gf...sitting on the front steps talkin...and i was freakin out about bugs...not even dangerous/creepy bugs...just normal little bugs....and i've not been able to eat normally the past few days/weeks...i feel like i'm slipping away into some weird existance....like when i was a teenager i got all obsessive compulsive and i'd try like hell to eat, and i'd find something gross about it (spaghetti=worms, rice=maggots etc etc) to prevent myself from eating. that summer was the happiest time...sorta....but at the same time i was spiralling outta control. i ended up weighing only 103 lbs...

damn didnt mean to ramble..see what i mean? somethings not right and i dunno what to do or where to turn...