Think before you speak!

[mrdevious]

My sister forwarded me this e-mail, it contains true stories submitted by different people, so I thought I'd share.

>Think before you speak...Here are six reasons why you should think before
>you speak -the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you
>could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a
>hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
>
>
>FIRST TESTIMONY:
>I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
>loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned
>around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a
>word...he knew better.
>
>
>SECOND TESTIMONY:
>I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
>unhappy with the womens type I had been using. After browsing for several
>minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at
>the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him
>and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
>
>THIRD TESTIMONY:
> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
>of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind
>the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking
>at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned,
>and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never
>let me forget.
>
> FOURTH
>TESTIMONY:
>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
>some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of
>her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
>I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
>punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just
>as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
>that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
>deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what
>they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
>bank with my daughter in tow.The last thing I heard when the door closed
>behind me, were screams of laughter.
>
>
>FIFTH TESTIMONY:
>Have you ever asked your child
>a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with
>potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell
>for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining
>room.While enjoying my taco,
>I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
>daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty
>in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept
>thinking
> "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
>with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
> "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because
>the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you
>have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
> bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
> While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
>pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better,
>thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
>LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
>This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
>embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
>before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We
>had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed
>and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8
>inches you promised me last night?"
> Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they
>were laughing so hard!


- And to add my own story, when I was 7 years old mom took me to the hair dressors. During my haircut she had wetted my hair a lot, and I didn't much care for that, so I asked her "Once you're done, could I have a blowjob?" (meaning blow-dryer). She had the most shocked look on her face, my sister and mom were laughing really hard, and I had no idea why .

share you stories too if you have any!

mrdevious Reviewed by mrdevious on 03-28-2006. Think before you speak! My sister forwarded me this e-mail, it contains true stories submitted by different people, so I thought I'd share. >Think before you speak...Here are six reasons why you should think before >you speak -the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you >could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a >hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... > > >FIRST TESTIMONY: >I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in Rating: 5

[are you kind]

when i was younger (late middle school, early high school) we were talking about things we'd like to do, and i calmly said that i would love to go back in time and play with myself....

another time i informed a girl i was working with that i thought little boys were cuter than little girls (wholly based on the two pictures on the wall of a little boy and a little girl) and she just kinda looked at me.

[friendowl]

that was funny devious about sucking pee-pee

[imagoober]

ROFL! i needed a good laugh wow i cant wait to see what else ends up on the thread!

[Swizzy89304]

that was funny devious about sucking pee-pee

wow friendowl
you didnt
write
like a retard
that time.

lol sorry. Couldnt resist! :dance:

[Swizzy89304]

Awww friendowl Im sorry about that. Give us a kiss!

[Swizzy89304]

Ooh, ooh, Ive got one!

Me and Ben had just finished getting baked, so we decided to go over to the shop to get some food and drink. We stand gibbering to eachother, finally buy some stuff and go to the counter to pay.
As the lady at the counter (fit, btw) was putting the food through the beepy machine, Ben looks up and says to me
'Oh Swizz, I thought they did KY Jelly here!'

Now all the staff there think were a gay couple.

[Ocram]

Once at a cousin's wedding, Standing outside having a smoke, chattin it up with a group of people, THey were talkin about kids and baby's.....So I ask this Lady when she was Due?... SHE WASN"T Preggy LOL.....Damm did I feel like a Piece of SHIT!!

[sreworg yalniv]

that was awsome i needed that.I almost peed myself.