ass-wiping question

[orangeman]

I know this is off-topic but friendowl what is that in your avatar anyways?

[halo]

a better question is how do you wipe? sitting down or standing up?

i stand up. i seen peeps in movies wipe while still sitting. i doubt you get a good wipe like that.

I wipe while sitting. Its better than standing for many reasons. You can spread your cheeks out on the seat and get a great whipe. And also when you have nasty squish shit if you stand up sometimes itll smeer on your cheeks. Sittin down is the only way to go.

[friendowl]

me swimming at malibu state park [rock pool]

[halo]

probably 3/100 at home and like 15/100 at school because the food up here blows and it can get a little messy hahahaha... but as far as wipes go it takes about 4 or 5 wipes to be clean.... oh and for all you fuckers who flush the toilet seat while your still seated DON'T DO IT... there was a special on the news a while back about some guy who got aids by flushing the toilet in public places while still seated... the water splashes up and if it's contaminated it can infect you with anything floating in the water... you can even get STDs from the toilet

Only if you have a cut on your ass. You cant get STDs from the toilet. Can you?

[friendowl]

what if your hemorhoid pop's and the water splashes into your crevasse

[Its a Plant]

you can't fucking get aids or std's from a toilet seat. seriously. but it would be scary if you could. I hope you guys were joking.

[geonagual]

Very informative thread
It is always nice to know how the rest of the world
wipes their ass
as for me....
I am always waiting for that clean shit
ya know
the one where you dont even need to wipe your ass
but as a precaution you do
and then you see no shit on the paper
and your like FUCK
I didnt even need to wipe

[friendowl]

thats the holy grail of feces
smooth exit like a bank robber

[Fengzi]

when i was in survival training for the first time
i had to take a shit.
i asked mike the guy in charge what could i wipe with.
he gave me one fucking square of paper.
i walked a ways and did my thing.
when i came back he asked me
"wheres your paper"
i said " i buried it "
"go get and bring it here and burn it " " leave no trace "
first of all its hard to get real clean with one square but do-able
second its nasty to walk with shit-paper in front of another.
then to burn it is quite humbling

I got you beat on this one friendowl. I took a month long mountaineering class up in the North Cascades a while back and they gave a new meaning to "leave no trace". No paper at all. Since we were camped on glaciers for 90% of the time we improvised. Believe it or not, snow works amazingly well, better than paper. It's wet, and kind of ruff, so it has quite a bit of cleansing ability. You just have to get over freezing your ass off every time.

[jonny]

I understood this thread as a satirical, royal taking of the piss out of all those stupid kids on these boards that ask all those stupid questions.

"Hey, I found this seed in a bag of ganja, its small and brown, could anyone tell me what strain this is?"

"whats your favourate munchies?"

"which hand do you jack off with"
Whats your fucking dad called?
Who's your favourate emporor of china between the 10th century and the 18th

Why so many questions>?And such pointless ones too...argh.

Maybe I looked into it too deeply and he actually wanted to know the answer to the questions :S