The reason we don't play with matchbox cars and tonka trucks when we're over 10 years old is because we simply outgrew these activities. The kids we play with also outgrew these activites so there's no reason for us to continue playing with those child toys. As we get older and our values change, our "toys" are replaced with things much more appealing to our adult lives. As children we can't see the value in investing in a savings account for a car we can buy when we're old enough to drive. This is much like relationships. Convincing you to save and invest in your relationship is like trying to convey to a child the importance of saving one day for a car when they're much too young to see the value in transportation. You are still "playing" with a toy that you enjoy (pills) and have discovered that if you don't already own them, you can swipe them from somebody else.

The problem....You have created a situation with your girlfriend that needs addressed immediately. Her finding out that you are doing drugs is nothing compared to the damage you did when you embarrased her in front of those who trusted her, and then you abandoned her to deal with them alone. If this is the girl you could spend your whole life with, then you should begin to invest in that relationship a little more. One day you will outgrow the drugs. The question is, will you outgrow them before or after you break up with her? If you outgrow them before you destroy your trust and confidence with your girlfriend, then one day you'll get to look back and thank your lucky stars you gave up your tonka toy for something valuable that you'll never outgrow....a loving relationship! The alternative is you will one day outgrow those drugs and not have that relationship to take it's place.

It's all a matter of perspective. Getting over an addiction is like accelerating your growing up. Just like the others said, you'll quit when you want to. By this I mean you will outgrow the drugs, not just "want" to outgrow them.

Here is what I would do. First off call the folks she was babysitting for and apologise to them and make sure they are aware that your girlfriend knew nothing of your actions and clear her name completely. Protect her like you should and would for the rest of your life. This will be difficult and you probably won't get much sympathy from them. Second, call her and apologise for embarrasing her and putting her in that situation. This is not about you, it's about what you did to her, so don't offer any excuses for your actions. Your drug problem is not the real issue, it's the damage you do because of the drug problem that is the issue. Third, grow up! Stealing is what children do. Running away from confrontation is also what kids do. Believe it or not, when you get older, nothing will scare you except being alone. Don't find yourself looking back at the relationship you could have had if you only had the foresight to see the true value in it. Additionally, women value men they can brag about and show off to their families and friends. They want someone who is a pillar of strength that they can lean on or come to when frightened. These are women "toys". We're lucky they think of us as their prized possessions and compare us to other husbands/boyfriends. If she's embarrased of you or sees nothing but weakness in you, she will trade you in for something she can be proud of.

Just remember when you're not sure of what you should do, imagine yourself 20 years older, married to the woman you love, enjoying the building of your lives together and think of what it takes to get to that point. The drugs seem like child toys by comparison.

GM