The Queen was visiting one of London's top teaching hospitals; she specified that she wanted to see absolutely everything.

During her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient
was wanking.
"Oh my God !,", said the Queen, "that's disgraceful, what is the
meaning of this?"
The Doctor leading the tour explained, "I am sorry Your Majesty, but
this man has a very serious medical condition and is only following his
consultant's orders.
His body produces too much semen and his testicles keep overfilling.
Until we can find out exactly what is causing this problem he's been instructed to do that at least 5 times a day or there is a danger that his testicles will explode, and he would die a painful death."

"I'm so sorry", said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a
patient a blow-job .
"Oh no ! ", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, but he's with BUPA."