"And if they had faces they would've been grinning at me, but they didn't have faces. And they assured me that they loved me, and they told me not to be amazed, not to give way to astonishment. And so I watched them, even though I wondered if maybe I hadn't really done it this time!"
Terrence McKenna

McKenna did an interview during his last six months, and said that death from cancer, at a premature age, was not what he'd envisioned. He always thought that he would eventually end up in a mental hospital or institution.

As far as the brain tumor, and his drug use, he had expected his doctors to say, "See!", "Told you so", or something to that effect, and even thought to himself that drug use had caused the tumor. But when he mentioned this to the doctors, to his surprise, they poopoohed the notion that the drugs were responsible.