Teachings from God!

[God v2.0]

I shall take you, my children, through the chain of events that led to me falling asleep last night and you will forever be graced with my infinite wisdom:

On the first hour after He came home from quitting His job He saw that there was no means to procure a fire or source of heat for which to light His bowl.

After several minutes of hard contemplation He came up with a plan. The gas range He used to cook His food on would be an ample source of fire for whatever He needed the fire for.

Being all powerfull and knowing everything He retrieved a candle from the closet of His room, rolled up a piece of paper and transfered the fire from the stove unto the candle and said, "Let this candle burn for as long as i need it to light my bowl".

The candle then, in an act of defiance, was blown out by a mysterious wind. To prevent this He fashioned a new wick, 4 times as large as the simple man made wick that came with the candle. It worked perfect and the candle burned bright.

A problem arose when He was finally ready to begin his ritual smokage. How was he to transfer the fire from the candle to His godly, weed filled, pipe.

Once again he fashioned a match from a rolled up harkins movie ticket stub and was able to light his bowl and enjoy the mellowness that it brought unto Him.

The End.

God v2.0 Reviewed by God v2.0 on 03-14-2006. Teachings from God! I shall take you, my children, through the chain of events that led to me falling asleep last night and you will forever be graced with my infinite wisdom: On the first hour after He came home from quitting His job He saw that there was no means to procure a fire or source of heat for which to light His bowl. After several minutes of hard contemplation He came up with a plan. The gas range He used to cook His food on would be an ample source of fire for whatever He needed the fire for. Rating: 5

[friendowl]

what about rolling some toilet paper
into the form of a cigar
then wet the paper to feep the flame small.
last a long while.
or use vaseline and a q-tip.
works like a lil candle and wont smoke up the pad.

[God v2.0]

i tried the q tip and it smoked black (i used wax not vaseline) but i also forgot to put in this:

As a lesson He poured the hot wax from the candle onto Himself and was burnt, this was to remind Him and all of mankind about the privleges we enjoy and how they are always taken for granted. And that is the moral of my teachings.

[friendowl]

as the hot waxed burned the body
a mountain of skin begins to rise