I've never seen a dead body in real life, but after a night of heavy boozing and smoking, my buddy decides to show me a few "interesting" videos. I had never seen the image of death before, or a video for that matter, so what I thought he was showing me was a movie or TV. He showed me the Bud Dwyer suicide video and I clearly remeber being awake all night after that, when I should have been passed out, and that triggered my first ever anxiety attack.

I'll never forget the look in the guys eyes after he put a magnum bullet in his head. His blood draining out of him like a blown water main. It was horrific and it took me a few months to get that image out of mind.