chisme, you seem a safe geezer mate, don't be too rash about things...maybe telling us what's goin down would help, i don't think anyone here would judge you..i mean, fuck, we've had people asking if you can smoke insence ffs...we all have times where it goes wrong..i was fucked up for a while..chronically depressed, dropped outta school... i didn't wanna live, it scared the shit outta me, but i thought fuck it, i'll just live life without boundries...live as a libertine..i mean that might not work for you..i don't know your circumstances, but i'm getting the impression it's medical, right?