Fuck man, I tried killing myself no longer than 4 or so weeks ago. I drank half a bottle of Bacardi in ten minutes. The whole motivation for the night was "I never want to feel anything again".

I should be fucking dead. I've been thinking about the night a lot, and I thought to myself "How dare I try and pass all my pain onto my loved ones because I can't deal with it?".

I only needed to do that once to know that I never want that again. I'm even thinking quitting drinking, its no longer fun. I can never again say to myself "This is fun, I'm drunk!" No, now its "I almost killed myself with this, what am I doing??".

Suicide is not an answer to any problems, all its going to do is cause pain for anyone you care about.