Really scary stuff, any thoughts, or advice please?

[DiamondDogs]

Hey all,

I had a terrible experience this past weekend , and while I'm feeling much better than I was, I'm still shaken up ... so any advice or suggestions about what you guys think might have happened to me would be comforting. So thanks in advance ...

I'm going to try not to let this get too long ... though that's going to be hard for me, but quick background experience is that in highschool I used to smoke quite a bit, and some strong stuff back in the day, including some pot laced with crack, I've also taken E and had a robo-trip. So do me a favor please and don't tell me I was just high, cause I've been high many times but never like this ... When I would smoke a bunch in high school I would have a pretty good time, laughing my butt off, entertaining everyone with funny little pranks, towards the end of my pot head days I started getting quiet and just kind of sitting in the corner feeling tired, so I stopped smoking as much.

So now this weekend, I had alot to drink, but not more than a usual night of partying. I'm hanging out at a friend's place, with my fiance and our friends. Our buddy's neighbor comes in at around 3 am or so and asks us if we wanna smoke. I'm 22 now, and hardly ever smoke anymore, maybe the last time I did was 4 months ago or something. And I usually just take like 2 hits after I'm already drunk. So this time I'm trying to act like a tough girl, because my fiance says he's gonna smoke and he hasn't at all in probably like 3 years or so, and we've always talked with each other about how we used to be "pot heads" but haven't ever smoked together. Like the dumb girl I often am when drunk, I guess I was trying to impress him and smoke ALOT. I had about 6 or 7 gigantic hits off this bowl, probably over the course of like 15 minutes, and I was holding this smoke in as long as my little lung could. Yes, I was acting like a dumbass.

Anyway, for a little while there it's all hazy. I don't know WHAT happened. Except that I have a very vague memory of going into the neighbor's place and checking out his fish tank (I can picture one of those yellow and blue tropical fish swimming around, I'll have to go over to his place next time I'm over there and see if he actually has one of those fish). And I *feel* like he might have given me something else over there, but I really don't know if I imagined the whole incident, because my fiance said he doesn't remember me ever leaving our friend's place to go down the hall. But he was stoned too, so maybe he just didn't see my slip out.

Next thing I know (remember) I'm completely F-ed up beyond belief. I go into my friend's bedroom to seperate myself from all the people (now our neighbor has 2 more friends over and the noise is way too much for me), even though they are completely across the place from me thier voices sound like they are right next to me, laughing and talking about me. I go into the bathroom and start frantically gulping water out of the sink trying to hydrate myself and feel better. The tiles are all spinning like crazy and shaking in there, and dancing around on the floor. Then time starts slowing down ... which was just the worst feeling ever becuase besides feeling like crap, the 2 hours or so before I finally pass out feel like literally 10 hours. Every second feels like a minute, everything feels like it is moving in slow motion, even me when I'm moving, talking, breathing. That sensation was present through the entire experience. So now that I realize how totally f-ed up I am, I get completely terrified. I definitely had some panic attacks (and I do have those once in a while while sober). Anyway, I remember laying down on the bed and kind of snapping in out of reality, for a few seconds I would feel like I was back to normal and then I would "slip back under" and be hallucinating about all sorts of things. (*Let me add in here, that my friend lives in a really old building, and I have experiences with the paranormal once in a while, and have been kind of exploring that in myself more lately, and looking back I wonder if there is anyway I was actually experiencing some paranormal stuff with some spirits that might be in the building - but I really have no idea*). Anyway I was having graphic hallucinations of spirits talking to me, and stuff like that, though I don't remember too many details about most of it. FINALLY my fiance comes in to check on me and just tells me to keep laying down and he will be right back. He goes out and starts hanging out again and now I'm really freaking because I am absolutely convinced I'm going to die, it's like I just *know* it and I'm thinking about what it's going to be like when my fiance has to tell my parents, my friends, what happened to me, and how guilty my fiance is going to feel. After a few minutes I really start freaking and I somehow make my way to the bedroom door and start calling for my fiance to come back in and I have to say his name a few times, and I'm totally convinced that everyone out there is laughing at how stupid I am at this point, and he comes back in and I just grab him and am begging him not to leave me alone again.

He sits down by me on the bed, and this was when the worst part of the entire thing happened. He's just sitting with me and I'm telling him how I am really really messed up, and I think I may have taken something else, telling him about how I thought I went into the neighbor's place, and he tells me to close my eyes and I do. Recently my friend had a baby that wasn't very well when it was born, and I so now I have this "death" experience (like what I think a near-death experience might feel like), something I have never felt anything like ... and in this hallucination or whatever, I AM my friend's baby, and the baby (me at the time) dies instead of living. This was so vivid it is really freaking me out just to type about it. I started shaking like crazy, breathing really quickly, my heart rate was insane, and then I stopped breathing for a minute or two. My fiance said he had to shake me to get me out of it. AWFUL. I was crying hysterically after it happened for about 15 minutes, telling him to take me to the hospital, that I was going to die, ect. My fiance keeps telling me I'm going to be fine, and that I should go to the bathroom and throw up. So I get in there and make myself throw up, and I ended up going to the bathroom 3 more times to get sick. Our friends come in and they are arguing in the closet while I'm laying down and this is just making me crazy to hear them screaming at each other, and I keep imagining that I am them, and feeling the pain that they are feeling because they are upset. I still felt awful for about 1/2 hour after all of that, but I was definitely getting better. Having some water and trying to lay down. I just remember begging my fiance not to leave, and he said he wouldn't he would lay with me and I should try to sleep.

So I pass out, and wake up in the morning, and suprise! I feel like $hit. Really hungover, and still terrified about everything that happened to me. We try to go get lunch with our friends and I can barely make it through, I asked my fiance to drive me home, and my friends just keep saying they have never seen me like this, and wow I must feel really awful. After eating I feel a bit better, but I'm just exhausted and scared because we didn't sleep much. I feel totally out of sorts all day, like kinda the way I felt after I did E before, like I am not myself. That night though we have tickets to go to a concert, so I take a little nap and try to snap out of it. All day though I can not shake this feeling that I actually DID die last night and that this is my "afterlife" and that everyone around me knows I am dead and they are all just being fake with me. Creepy, weird stuff. I guess I was still actually f-ed up. So we go back to my friend's place, have a few beers, and go to this show and at this point I'm feeling much better. Until we get in there and someone near us lights up and a I feel like I got a little contact high and started getting pretty scared again that some of the same shit was going to happen to me. The feeling that I was dead got much worse at this point. We went back to our friends, I had another beer or two to try to chill out, and then I go into my friend's bathroom (which always gives me a creepy feeling in general) and I have another little hallucination (or a paranormal experience??). I look at the closet and there is a grey light glowing out and then at the same time my entire right leg goes numb, like pins and needles and I have a distinct feeling that there was a girl who lived in this place before who either didn't have a leg or who lost her leg. Scary stuff, and now of course I'm all freaked out and just want to get out of this building. So everyone says they want to go to a bar, and so I agree even though I have no desire to party anymore, but I just want to get out of this building. So we go and I'm getting increasingly more freaked out, the techno at this place is creeping me out, I'm wondering if I'm going insane, if I'll ever feel back to normal again. I convince my fiance to leave with me, and in the car, I am just totally freaking out, trying to breath slowly and just relax, really getting that "I'm dead" feeling again. Once we get home I have some water and just fall asleep from being so tired. When I wake up the next day I'm still having glimpses of that "I'm dead" thing, and getting really dizzy and disoriented and feeling generally weird. Finally I wake up the next day and feel pretty much back to normal - just wondering what the F happened to me!!

If you read all of this THANK YOU so much. I really appreciate it. If you have any idea what the heck could have happened to me, I would love to hear it. I feel like what I went through was similar to alot of this stuff I was reading ... http://www.erowid.org/experiences/su...ad_Trips.shtml

So maybe I just had a bad trip? Is it possible that the stuff we smoked was laced with something, but then why was I soooo messed up and everyone else was just having a good time being stoned? Is it possible that I just smoked much more than the boys and I'm a smaller girl? Or do you guys think I might have taken something else in my drunken/stoned stupor at our neighbor's, if so what could it be? I'm kinda embaressed to just ask him about it cause I don't know him very well and if he didn't give me anything that would just be weird. Thanks all for reading my story. Anyway, after all of that, I don't think I will EVER smoke again!

DiamondDogs Reviewed by DiamondDogs on 02-28-2006. Really scary stuff, any thoughts, or advice please? Hey all, I had a terrible experience this past weekend :( , and while I'm feeling much better than I was, I'm still shaken up ... so any advice or suggestions about what you guys think might have happened to me would be comforting. So thanks in advance ... I'm going to try not to let this get too long ... though that's going to be hard for me, but quick background experience is that in highschool I used to smoke quite a bit, and some strong stuff back in the day, including some pot Rating: 5

[horror business]

I've had a similar experience. Smoking for my first time, it brought out my hidden panic disorder. The first few times I smoked, I felt as if I had died, and was dreaming, and that the others were just messing with me, and that they couldn't understand me, and I wanted it to stop. I was crying, and thought that I was dead, or must have died and "woke up" in a different world. Usually whenever I get extremely fucked up, I can still feel it the next day, but I find that usually, its our minds that play those tricks on us. Whenever I start to feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, I just calm myself down. If we start to get scared, and think of impossible scenerios of what could have happened, it will just get worse. After my first time smoking, it traumatized me, and everytime I was around the stuff, I feared that I would get a contact high, and the same thing would happen. It even got so bad that even just thinking about cannabis would make me feel "high" again, but it's just our panic that brings that stuff out. I'm on Paxil now, so it helps me control my panic attacks, like when I smoke weed, I'm still getting used to being high, so right when it kicks in, my heart beats fast, and I get to the point where my mind could think of bizzarre things, and then I'll cry and freak out, but instead I just try to slow my breathing, and chill out, like watch a movie or something. Just realize that other people have had this feeling, and it's a negative effect that THC can have on people. Alot of people get paranoid and shit, and I know that you think this is totally different and I'm sure some people here will reply with answers that don't help you, but I've been through very similar experiences, afraid that I died, that it was all a dream, that the high would never end, and what made it WORSE, is the next day, when I was still so traumatised that my mind convinced myself that I was still high, even when I wasn't. It's a mild form of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder. Very similar to when soldiers have a terrible time at war, and come back, and whenever they hear a loud noise, they think/fear that they are back on the battle zone.
I hope everything goes better for you. It took me a year after my first experience to actually calm down, and to make the panic attacks stop. Now I can smoke and calm myself down... so, I hope that things are okay for you.
Peace,
horror business

[Smokes]

holy hell.. sry im too much of a stoner to read that.. but whatever your problem is or was... Good luck to you and happy smoking

[horror business]

lol smokes, what the hell, that was so well-intentioned but rude, it was amazing, it put a smile on my face. Yeah, Diamond Dogs, I'm not trying to make light of your situation, but you have to admit that what smokes said was so randomly funny. I mean, he didn't read it, but said whatever your problem is or was, to have good luck. So he was well intentioned, but yeah... I think I'm going to smoke in a little bit. lol.
But yeah, Diamond Dogs, keep me posted, like reply to this, because I want to know if I helped any, because I know how alone and scared I felt, and pissed off as well, because all my friends enjoyed pot regularly, but I didn't even want to be near it after my negative first experiences. I felt cheated out of fun, and hated that fact. Lately my experiences have been relatively good, as long as I smoke in moderation. I also made a rule for myself, that I will never smoke anything more potent than high-end midgrade. But really, I know how scared and alone I felt, I felt as if I was the only one that felt that way, so if what I said helped you in any way, let me know, because if so, I'm glad I found someone that I can relate to as well, because most of my friends just laughed at me during my negative experience, and then called me a pussy for not smoking afterwards. If you agree that we've had similar experiences, then I'm glad that I'm not alone. As one of my friends said in one of his songs "love to be alone but I hate being lonely". That's how I feel, and I hate feeling lonely, feeling as if I'm the only one feeling that way, and being scared, and feeling isolated, but to know that other have had similar experiences makes me feel better...

[AcidFreak]

That's some heavy shit, I read all of it, and personally, I think you had a bad shwag experience (I don't know if that applies to just shwag or weed in general), but that's what I've heard it called. It happens once to every pothead at some point, where you just completely flip shit, and stuff like that happens; elevated heart rate, paranoia, crazy shit of that sort...'cause it doesn't sound intense enough to be laced with PCP...wish I could help ya more though Good luck finding out what it was. Maybe lay off the pot for a while.

[jonny]

I've had bad experiences when less of a experianced toker than I am now and they all came from being drunk and THEN smoking, drinking after smoking is ok but not when already drunk.

Although now it doesn't do much when combining the two, because of my vast tolerance , a good thing In that sense I guess.

Weed before wine - You'll be fine,.
Wine before weed - You'll regret it indeed!

[growitandsmokeit]

That sounds shitty Diamond Dog poor you. I've had some panic attack/ weidness on weed before and its not nice. That spirit stuff sounds really freeky. I can remember one time when I was on this crazy research chemical called 2CT7 I thought of a guy I knew and imitated him for a second when suddenly I half convinced myself that I had turned in to him! My crazy drug period is well and truely over!
My golden rule with weed is that when you first try a new batch of weed is have two hits from a pipe or a bong and wait half an hour to see how strong it is.

[toker22]

i have a good friend who i smoked up once a totally freaked out, and she thought she was dreaming a lot of what was actually happening, and then she would "wake up" from the dream and just think she had been standing there for a while, it was pretty freaky at the time, and like she says it still happens to her but she can control it more now, like just let it be the "dream" and enjoy it. is this similar to either of your experiences? i wonder what it is that make certain people have such crazy experiences on weed. like i have a friend who always gets a billion times higher than i have ever been, is it just like natural body chemistry or something? hopes this all made sense, im pretty stoned :stoned: :thumbsup:

[chriscannabis]

I'm lucky, I've been smoking almost eight years, about three times a week and never, ever been caught, panicked or otherwise afflicted with anything that caused me distress..


All I can say, is it was most likely laced or something or you just had a bad high. Paranoia and strange thoughts are not uncommon when you get messed up i na weird setting.

The ultimate test for me would be to go in like an abandoned messed up warehouse or slaughterhouse that's slightly torn down and be fucked up on acid. I'd never try but thinking about is interesting.

[RedRainDrop]

holy hell.. sry im too much of a stoner to read that.. but whatever your problem is or was... Good luck to you and happy smoking

Lol... i her ya man, i zoned out after the second sentence.