Quote Originally Posted by Ganjasaurusrex
So when you go back, you go back to a dirty slate.
wow awesomely put, very insightful.

harsh but necessary advice.

on the other hand, i hold onto the idea that it is possible (but VERY difficult) to radically transform your way of treating somebody--your way of seeing her, etc. Pay attention to the ways that you and her are the same, that you're just in the same position of mistrusting each other. You're on opposite sides of the fence but its the SAME fence.

If you can see how clearly she could be in your shoes, and you could be in hers, this is like a kind of forgiveness. I think forgiveness is the key to movin on.

There is no guarantee she would understand this (I am in a similar situation myself not too long ago, and communication is tough). You shouldn't think about getting back together because its too emotionally difficult and complicated. BUT I think you should try to forgive her in your own mind anyway, dont try to hate her (and just stir up more pain for both of you). Real forgiveness in a way has NOTHING to do with her, it's all up to you, its just your way of moving on without having to say "fuck her"---because you know you loved her.

The healthy way to get on with your life is to just admit that, without hoping to get anything in particular out of her. Just let it be and find something new.