Also when you were telling me about when the judge was describing you in front of the jury, and it was like you didn't have a say, it kinds automatically made me think of this song.I'll post the lyrics, even if you don't like the music (hehe, punk rock) i'm sure you'll find the song touching.I think its a peice of art.


Institutionalized:

Sometimes i try to do things and it just doesnt work out the way i want it to. and i get real frustrated. and like i try hard to do it and i take my time and it just doesnt work out the way i want it to. its like i concentrate on it real hard and it just doesnt work out and everything i do and everything i try it never turns out. its like, i need time to figure these things out but theres always someone there going "hey mike, you know, weve been noticing youve been having alot of problems lately, you know? you should maybe get away and like maybe you should talk about it, youll feel alot better" i go "no its ok, you know, ill figure it out...just leave me alone, ill figure it out, you know? ill just work it out myself" they go "well, you know, if you want to talk about it, ill be here, you know, and youll probably feel alot better if you talk about it, so why dont you talk about it?" i go "no! i dont want to! im ok! ill figure it out myself!" but they just keep bugging me...they just keep bugging me and it builds up inside!

So you're gonna be institutionalized
You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
You won't have any say
They'll brainwash you until you see their way.

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
to give me the needed professional help
to protect me from the enemy...myself

I was in my room and i was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything but then again i was thinking about nothing. and then my mom came in and i didnt even know she was there she called my name and i didnt hear her and then she started screaming "MIKE MIKE!!". i go "what? whats the matter?". she goes "whats the matter with YOU?" i go "theres nothing wrong mom" she goes "dont tell me that! your on drugs!" i go "no mom im not on drugs, im ok, im just thinking, you know? why dont you get me a pepsi?" she goes "no! your on drugs!" i go "mom! im ok, im just thinking!" she goes "no! your not thinking, your on drugs! normal people dont act that way!" i go "mom, just get me a pepsi, please? all i want is a pepsi" and she wouldnt give it to me! all i wanted was a pepsi...just one pepsi and she wouldnt give it to me...just a pepsi!

They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
Drug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazy

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy...myself

I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a chair and they sat down, they go "Mike, we need to talk to you" And I go "Okay what's the matter?" They go "Me and your mom have been noticing lately that you've been having a lot of problems, and you've been going off for no reason and we're afraid you're gonna hurt somebody, and we're afraid you're gonna hurt yourself. So we decided that it would be in your best interest if we put you somewhere where you could get the help that you need." And I go "Wait! what are you talking about?? WE decided MY best interest?! How do you know what MY best interest is?? How can you say what MY best interest is? What are you trying to say...I'm crazy?! When I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning facilities?! So how can you say I'm crazy?!"

They say they're gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I'll be dead

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy...myself

It doesn't matter if i get hit by a car anyway...