Hey again. Glad to see you're sticking around Hope you're ready to read and if not you'll be kind!

When I decided I would be evaluated for anti-depressants it was really important to me that I wouldn't experience large personality changes. I know people and have heard stories about people that have become numb from them, so like you I was concerned. In reality I think most of these stories stem from assumptions about the drugs or experiences with bad doctors. They do not induce any sort of dulling or euphoria on the senses they (SSRIs) simply keep more serotonin available to the brain. After being satisfied with my own research on the subject I gave them a try.

My diagnosis was mild depression with social anxiety. I was on Paxil CR at half a 25mg dose for 2 weeks and then the full 25mg from there on. After the first week I noticed a general lift in my mood. It was subtle. I still had mood swings they just didn't get to the point of feeling lost or trapped. Making small talk and having petty conversations was a bit easier. I was spending less time evaluating and editing my words in my head before I spoke. This was a big deal for me because for so long I felt crushed under the weight of this unrealistic fear and anxiety. After being on it for over a month I was still having good results without any strange shifts in personality.

I was also "prescribed" therapy and went to the two sessions required to get my refills. I'd been to a psychologist before. Many times actually. For several years I was convinced that I could talk my problems away and it was above me to pop a pill. I realize now that therapy alone would probably not have made any real progress for many more years if at all. A lot of my healing was simply realizing that it could be overcome and suggestion alone offered only so much reassurance.

I do think that these drugs are over-prescribed on a very large scale. I know people that have been taking them for years yet don't seem to be any better to show for it. These are the numb victims we hear about when you talk to people about anti-depressant meds. I think my success came from having a doctor that took the time to actually listen to my concerns instead of coming into the room and leaving it in the same breath. A change in personality was my #1 concern and by the end of the conversation he shared those concerns along with me and prescribed something he considered appropriate. My follow-up appointments were all very thorough as well. He must have known I was serious since I didn't even have insurance at the time.

I don't take anything for depression or anxiety now as it is no longer a daily issue. When I see my mom she'll give me a couple Xanax from her prescription to I keep in the medicine cabinet--the .25mg ones. Not even enough to feel it on an entirely conscious level, but they will put a stop to irrational anxiety if it is being persistent.

I think the fact I consume cannabis regularly plays an important role in my continued good health. A lot of research has shown that long-term exposure to cannaboids will result in an anti-depressant-like response. That and I've had strains that will stop alarming symptoms of anxiety like heart palpitations in their tracks. I don't have access to the stock required to be a true medicinal user but I'd like to one day as I think it shows unlimited promise.

Treating depression solely with cannabis is not something I put much stock in though. The ups and downs, especially when inhaled, are too severe to have a therapeutic response to someone dealing with chronic depression. It's simply not a practical way to live for most people either, smoking dope every couple of hours. In conjunction with a psychologist you might indeed have good luck but I would contend this rests entirely on being honest about your cannabis usage and him being supportive.

Don't be overly worried about anti-depressants. If you have a puzzling reaction to what the doctor gives you the first time call him immediately. Lots of people have tried 2 or 3 medications before they found one that will work without side effects. It's definitely a route worth considering.