VENUS & MARS....

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus
and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually
says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...
You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to
spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just
buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. (She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.) I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"

Then I said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill
me, I added........,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either