Quote Originally Posted by Smokey McPot
move to one of the caribbean islands and get a job like taking tourists on snorkel trips or somthin. Who cares if you dont make alota money because if i lived down there with a fun job that would be better than living in ohio making more.
heh, man you have no idea how much I've fantasized about just that. well not so much the snorkeling, but living in the carribean in any way. I'd take having just enough money to feed myself and buy a little ganga, to live somewhere like that.

but anyway, while I do appreciate the reply's since this last page, I think everybody missed my post that I'm not going through with this. I've been sober for about 2 weeks before today, trying to get my tolerance down, and today I just had a total nervous breakdown from all the stress weighing too much on me, and at the time I really felt I was totally trapped and everything's hopeless. I know, it's stupid, but I do occasionally just lose it like that. But with no friends to hang out with, no things in my life going my way for once, there's just no release and this shit just builds up in me, and sometimes the mental dam just breaks. but today after I posted the first few posts, I was just a nervous wreck and said fuck-it, quit my abstinence, and have been smoking solid for the past 3 hours. really made me step back, outside the situation and look at it from there.