Fuck that shit, find something your good at and go to a trade school! They're only about 1 year long, and you end up getting a pretty good job after. For the pain I'm sure you could move to a state with medical MJ, and there are many strains out there that can cure your pain, or get perscribed pills. I know someone that has been on ultrams for 10 years, and he says it helps his pain and hasn't had any negative affects on him. Try aderol for school, try a bunch of shit before you puss out and give up.