Thinkin about killing myself

[bedake]

actaully you guessed it, these forums are the only people I know pretty much, except for 2 friends that both live in cities so far away I maybe see them 3x a year for a day.




yeah, I was all suicidal from 13-17 too because of getting bullied every day. then I found weed and totally left that state of mind. but now I'm almost 21, and weed doesn't cut it anymore for life. I don't know what I think right now though, I'm just inredibly high and numb.... but yeah what she said earlier about how much it fucked up her husband after that many years, it did make me think. I sorta figured they'd be over it after a year or 2, maybe not. but it's not much of a life just living to spare somebody else's feelings, I mean that can only hold you so long before it's just too tiring.

well where should I go? I feel totally stressed in social situations, so I have no social life, I'm not going to finish college, I can't work, and my back and neck and sometimes armas and legs all hurt like hell all the time. is like something that I never thought of??. god damnit Im too highh.,

seriously id reccomend trying to not smoke for awhile see how that turns out, back whjen i smoked all the time id get all feeling burnt out and jaded

try going to a psychologist for the social situation thing, or go to a seminar, they can help you out with shyness

[beachguy in thongs]

actaully you guessed it, these forums are the only people I know pretty much, except for 2 friends that both live in cities so far away I maybe see them 3x a year for a day.




yeah, I was all suicidal from 13-17 too because of getting bullied every day. then I found weed and totally left that state of mind. but now I'm almost 21, and weed doesn't cut it anymore for life. I don't know what I think right now though, I'm just inredibly high and numb.... but yeah what she said earlier about how much it fucked up her husband after that many years, it did make me think. I sorta figured they'd be over it after a year or 2, maybe not. but it's not much of a life just living to spare somebody else's feelings, I mean that can only hold you so long before it's just too tiring.

well where should I go? I feel totally stressed in social situations, so I have no social life, I'm not going to finish college, I can't work, and my back and neck and sometimes armas and legs all hurt like hell all the time. is like something that I never thought of??. god damnit Im too highh.,

And these, ladies and gentleman, are the words of a suicidal maniac.

[beachguy in thongs]

I wish everybody could get that song stuck in their head, from Monty Python, "Always look on the bright side of life".

[davidmtml]

actaully you guessed it, these forums are the only people I know pretty much, except for 2 friends that both live in cities so far away I maybe see them 3x a year for a day.




yeah, I was all suicidal from 13-17 too because of getting bullied every day. then I found weed and totally left that state of mind. but now I'm almost 21, and weed doesn't cut it anymore for life. I don't know what I think right now though, I'm just inredibly high and numb.... but yeah what she said earlier about how much it fucked up her husband after that many years, it did make me think. I sorta figured they'd be over it after a year or 2, maybe not. but it's not much of a life just living to spare somebody else's feelings, I mean that can only hold you so long before it's just too tiring.

well where should I go? I feel totally stressed in social situations, so I have no social life, I'm not going to finish college, I can't work, and my back and neck and sometimes armas and legs all hurt like hell all the time. is like something that I never thought of??. god damnit Im too highh.,

Just wondering, and I'm not trying to be a dick, but why do you hurt so much? Is it a disease, or were you in an accident or what? I just want to be another one of those people you hate who says that suicide is not the answer. Life will get better.

[DirkZooDiggler]

I wish you guys lived near me because I would be your friend.

[Awill3449]

Please, please don't hurt yourself. My grandfather shot himself a few years back and it was devastating to the entire family.

It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Life may look hard now, but you will survive. You can. Please, find a social worker or someone who can help you. You will thank yourself very, very soon when you feel better. I totally know how you feel. For a while, I felt like life just didnt have a purpose. You might feel like you're totally alone now, but you're not. Depression is an extremely common disease. Yes, it is a disease. It's treatable and you CAN beat it.

Please, dont kill youself.

[mrdevious]

hey all, I've come down mostly now. look, I'm sorry I brought this up really, I've just been having these nervous breakdowns about 2-3 times a week, seems taking a toke is the only way to stop it. I'm not going to kill myself, it was stupid of me to post that, I just convinced myself I had to 'cause I was so stressed out. so sorry about this crap.

DavidMtMl, you're not an asshole at all for asking, it's cool. I've been in pain for 4 years now because I injured my lower back in Judo from all the getting flipped and having to lift big guys which was quite a strain. then a year later I thought I was healed enough to join a softer martial art, so I went into Aikido. We spend a 2 hour class practicing throwing opponents who were trying to hit you. so I fell on this vertebrae in my upper back like 50 times that night, and it's been screwed and extremely painfull ever since. then, a couple months after that I went to a chiropractor about my back as usual. I mentioned I had a minor kink in my neck so he adjusted it and wrecked it so bad that I was in a neck cast for a month. it's probably my neck that hurts the most now, though hard to say at times. anywhoo, now it's also going down both my legs, and the neck injury gave me nerve damage so I get burning pins needles going down my arms and into my hands.

[Brennan]

If your gonna die then do it. Don't waste everyone elses time looking for sympathy and pity. That's all suicide is. Cause if your commiting suicide to get away from life you'd already be Dead.

[sophiastarchild]

Listen...dude...drop out of college. Spend the next however many years of your life pursuing only things that make you happy. Do not kill yourself. Life is fucking hard. It's hard as shit...everyone has their own demons and their own mountains to climb but we all have them. I've screamed at the top of my lungs, "I hate my fucking life.." but even I knew that suicide is not the right thing to do...

If anything, don't kill yourself because you have us. Yeah, we're "Internet friends" but we're better than nothing! Your buds here would miss you if you were gone!

[Its a Plant]

man you guys don't even get it.

I CAN'T go to trades school because I don't have the math and science prerequisits, nor am I any good at either of those disciplines.

I CAN'T go into a trades because of my physical condition. it's not a simple matter of painkillers, I can dope myself up till I'm seeing trains flying in the sky, it still hurts too much just to stay on my feet.

I CAN'T even get a girlfriend, or a friend for that matter, because I'm a fucking loser piece of shit.

and I STILL CAN'T get a job and move out because I'm too physically fucked to work. and the government won't give me disability insurance or anything because I live with my parents, and they're not going to give me money to move out.

see what I mean? there's all sorts of wonderfull cliche solutions out there, but in practice non of them add up. even if there was a god, I'd fucking hate him.

You CAN'T do those things, or you WON'T??

Honestly, depending on how far behind you are in school, and if you do fail, there is always academic probation. This of course varies from college to college, but at least know your options before making a decision. And as far as killing yourself, thats no way to solve anything, and only causes more problems for everyone else you leave behind. A coward's way out if you will. Suicide is not an option.