Dude, what kinda stoner are you? j/k

really need something to smoke out of? grab the following:
an apple, or potato...i guess a pear would work as well, perhaps a yam....

get a knife, carve out a bowl, if you have the luxury of tin foil, get a 1.5X1.5 inch square, and place on hard surface, poke tiny holes w/ tip of knife, then carfully shape the inside of the bowl you just carved. next, hollow-out a pen, and stick it through where the stem wound be on a pipe, where it connects to the bowl, (think "L")...ok you get the f'n picture...
The shape of the hollow pin makes the pefect shape for you...next, get weed, insert, smoke..be stoned...

OR

Get a can, (coke, beer, cactis cooler, etc...) squish/bend the center(as if can is on side, your take hits from the same hole you recieve your tastey beverage from), get knife or safety pin, poke holes in center where you sqished the can, and make a larger (half the diameter of a dime) at the bottom of the can (you learn to place this hole (the carb) is a strategic place, so that you can hold the can and clear the pipe with one hand)

some say that smoking out of a can is really bad for you....not sure why(something to do w/ getting the aluminum hot), this maybe an urban legend...anyway...hope you have learned something today