Seriously, what do you think...

[wannagethigh]

Basically I want to know what you guys think my chances are with this girl? Also I'd love it for some girls to translate what this girl might be thinking into guy talk so that I dont make a fool out of myself.

I have a little brother who is now 3 years old and for the last two years he has had the hottest babysitter. Just so you guys can understand how well I know her I have spent many nights talking/chilling with her on a few vacations and when she has to stay late. She his 19 and I just turned 18 a few days ago. I am a senior in high school and she is a sophmore in college, so shes about a yeah and a half older than me. I've always had a crush on this girl but never had the balls to do anything about it.

A week or 2 ago we were talking and basically i started a conversation that eventually led to her inviting me to spend a night or 2 with her at college. So basically i'm spending a weekend with her in late february. In the mean time she found out (i think from my dad) that I am having a birthday party this coming weekend at this restaurant. She came up to me and asked me if her and her friend (a girl) could come and have a few drinks with me and my friends. This is when I realized that she has some sort of interest in me, whether it be as friends or want i want it to be.

Last night, after my bro went to sleep I was talking to her about going to her college and what not. She, out of no where said, "The only rule I have is that you sleep in my dorm (her bed btw) because your dad would kill me if he found out you slept with another girl in her dorm." The intent of this is what confuses me. Does she really not want to get my dad mad, or does she really want me to sleep with her? I put more thought into this and I thought to myself; what makes her even think that i even have the skills to get with some college chick? I personally dont even think I have any chance, mainly because I look young.

Overall she seems really excited to have me to stay with her for a weekend, and I was really surprised that she wants to come to my bday party.

If I were to try to make a move it would be this weekend at my party. If anyone could give me some helpful advice on how to get us alone, and once we are alone what should I say or should I say anything to see if she wants to hu. I've never been so nervous about hu with a girl in my life.

Would it be weird if I asked her if she wanted to keep me company while I have a cig, then when we get outside say somthing like "how would you feel if I kissed you right now?"???? Or should I just go in for the kill without knowing if she wants to kiss me, i'm soo fuckin confused. Help!

wannagethigh Reviewed by wannagethigh on 01-25-2006. Seriously, what do you think... Basically I want to know what you guys think my chances are with this girl? Also I'd love it for some girls to translate what this girl might be thinking into guy talk so that I dont make a fool out of myself. I have a little brother who is now 3 years old and for the last two years he has had the hottest babysitter. Just so you guys can understand how well I know her I have spent many nights talking/chilling with her on a few vacations and when she has to stay late. She his 19 and I Rating: 5

[Ganjasaurusrex]

Sounds like what your describing, the fact that she does not want your Dad to find out is the taboo aspect of doing what she is not supposed to do, therefore it is exciting for her to do it.

Play along with it like your worried that you Dad might find out even though you might not care.

Women absolutly love doing what they are NOT supposed to do. This is a good thing for you.

She has intial interest in you. So thats the natural progression. Your off to the right start.

By all means go for some conversation. Loose the cigarettes though and chew some gum instead.

Hold back and let her make the touching moves first. Not you first. After she touches you then touch her but not more than she touches you. Always pull back and leave her wanting more.

When you go for the first kiss it is important to watch the body language and follow her lead signals.

She will normally put her head back a certain way while you are close. At that point instead of going for the kiss right off the bat just stroke a strand of her hair between your fingers and continue to look in her eyes. She should have her head back slightly looking up at you and it is very hard NOT to miss this certain "look".

At that point go for a soft kiss. No tongue. Keep it light and short. Pull back once again leaving her wanting more. Make her work for it. Pay attention to her after the first kiss she will non-verbally let you know if she wants more.

Dont ask to kiss, ever. Seduction sin.

It is a non-verbal signal and asking ruins it. So she will let you know when to proceed non-verbally. Dont proceed until she gives you these non-verbal clues.

Before having sex it is VERY important to let the tension build first.

Be patient. I cant stress that enough.

Most men dont understand this important fact about women. Even men that have been married for many years still dont get it and dont understand why they get sexually rejected or why sex is not intense or frequent or ultimately why she cheats with a guy who pushes her buttons.

Dont put your hands on her and start making moves. Women can get offended if you do this.

So when the tension has built you will know because SHE WILL PUT THE MOVES ON YOU FIRST which is the right way to go about it. In other words she will let you know when she is ready.

But you are the one who creates the intensity within her.

Pay close attention to her levels of communication which are not as direct as how men speak to one another.

They are indirect and vague most times. When she feels you are picking up on this indirect language she will be drawn to you. This language is almost always indirect when it comes to sex so pay attention.

This language is very important to women and really want a guy to understand the indirect message.

The fact that your Dad might find out is actually a tension builder.

There are many tension builders. This is a lengthy subject in itself.

Concentrate on seduction, not sex. It is a progression with women that leads to sex and it starts in the mind. Breaking this natural progression and putting your needs first can kill the moment in an instant.

It is very important that she is the one chasing you not the other way around. You must maintain this challenge.

Be emotionally and sexually challenging. Dont feel guilty about pulling back momentary. Let her come after you.

Romance is good later on to build soft sexual tension, an important aspect of sex. But women are craving the other type MORE.

You want to build the kind of tension to where she has the look in her eyes like she wants to stab you!

The longer this tension builds, the more intense the sex.

Being soft, mushy, telling her your feelings etc. does nothing to build this kind of tension that she is craving.

Always, Always, Always tell yourself that you have sexual value. It will project non-verbally in intuitive script and she will pick up on that. Tell yourself things like:

"women are drawn to me"
"Do you want an amazing connection with me"

etc.

Not, "I want to get into your pants" You see the difference in the signals you are sending? Concentrate on the connection. Sometimes it can be hard to do at the same time while you are in a conversation with her. Women are very intuitive and can pick up on this.

So you need two things for this to happen:

1. Sexual value
2. opportunity, (a place for this to happen) sounds like that part is being arranged by
her in the dorm. So she is actually making it easy for you.


Quick tip:

Men are very turned on by what they see. (no-brainer).

Women are very turned on by how you make them feel, (sexual tension) and how they perceive you, (your sexual value), the challenge aspect. (Alot of guys dont understand this and think just taking off their clothes is all they have to do). Wrong approach. Its what happens most before sex that is important for women to have sex.


Take care

[justinsane]

simply put.

you are the eyes of the world.

[wannagethigh]

Thanks Ganjasaurus for your insight. What happens at her college really isn't that important to me right now because it is so far away. In 2 nights is my bday party and that is what i'm worried about.

What is a good way to ask her to come outside with me?

What if she is shy and doesn't want to touch me first?

What if I touched her first, just to see how she reacts?

[Ganjasaurusrex]

What is a good way to ask her to come outside?

Say its too noisy in here to talk or something similiar, "lets go outside so I can hear you better" . Hint, maybe you have loud music inside lots of people talking. Very good excuse. Or say," its too distracting in here lets go outside so we can talk".

What if she is shy and doesnt want to touch you first?

Shy women are tricky. I still think if you hold back she will have no other option if she is interested. Touching her first is tricky too. She probably already knows your interested as well so you dont need to do more to show that you are.

There are a few tricks. Try to notice if she has a ring on her finger. If she does and she hasnt touched you after some time has passed just casually notice it, nonchaulantly, say, "can I see your ring. Act interested in it. Take her four fingers between your thumb and and index finger and look at a little closer.

This has a VERY good effect on her as she will be watching you while you are holding her hand briefly and gently. Compliment the ring. Go easy on compliments by the way. A little goes a long way. One compliment stays in a persons head for a long time. Too many and it has a detremental effect. Or compliment the color of her clothes, "you look good in yellow" Just one compliment for the evening. So choose it well. This will help draw her out of her shyness.

If it is cold outside this might be an excuse to get close. Maybe the party is at night time when it is colder outside. Just go slow.

Sometimes when women talk or tell a story they will want to touch you with a hand briefly on the shoulder or do something humorous as an excuse to touch you.

So keep positive and joke around or poke fun of something that you learned in the conversation about her and she will more than likely give you a playful type of slap on the shoulder. This leads to more.

All Im saying is if you challenge her enough she will have no choice. She is already interested. If enough tension is building she wont be able to hold back. It would be hard for me to believe a girl who is interested in you wouldnt step it up at some point.

I would be careful about you initiating more touching beyond her comfort level because the last thing you want is to turn her off completly. Seduction is an art. And patience and challenge are brothers to one another.

If there are other girls there this could work to your advantage. She will be more inclined to touch you if she senses other girls checking you out, (sexual value) see how this is working. But you need to avoid checking out the other girls. Its delicate cause you dont want jealousy which is very negative.

One more thing you might try on top of dressing well and grooming is to smell good.
I dont know why this particular product works but women seem to love the smell of it.
Try old spice body wash, in a red plastic bottle, there are several, "sport" is the one you want. Ive tried many, lots of women seem to like the smell of this one.

Just dont get into any false notion that you have to "do things" to win her approval that is a very bad mind set to have and turns women off.

If you read anything Ive written in the past always remember:

Confidence, Self-control, and being a challenge. (memorize) you need these for the rest of your life including your career. Believe it or not challenge can help you win a job interview if you know the strategy.

Those are the things All women are looking for in dating and marriage.


Tip:

In your conversations try to inject words like "Confident", "Exciting", "unpredictable" etc. work these into your phrases somehow and inflect or highten your voice slightly with enthusiam on these words while you tell a story.

They have a lasting effect and carry a sub message.

Be a good reflective listener also. This will draw her out also. Very easy. Just let her talk. Listen. When she is done sum up the idea in your own words, for example, "so what your saying is....................." or "its kinda like..............".

you get the idea.



Good luck this weekend. I think you do alright. Happy birthday btw.

[rab]

Definitely talk outside. Holding hands is good. If there is an understanding, hugs are wonderful. You can hug people that you would never kiss! It releases so much tension without crossing that sex line.

Don't ask her if she likes you, this traps her into a meaningless answer, but IMHO you can tell her you like her, this doesn't require her to answer.

By all means give lots of compliments, but make them very mild or you risk emotional overload. Better to compliment her clothes or the decor of her room, or her choice of music or books or a picture on the wall rather than how she's a cool person or has a hot body. You want her to melt, not evaporate.

Accept the fact that you have something she wants and she needs your help to make it come true. Not what do I have to do to get her to put out, but how do I help her to express her own desire to do so.

Be willing to believe your insticts, the body language. When I met my wife, we were leaving a concert and I was walking in front. I stepped aside for her to pass and made a "ladies first" gesture with my hand. For an instant, I thought she reached for my hand and then pulled back. But I didn't believe it.

Later she told me how badly she had wanted to hold my hand that day. Trust your gut feeling.

If I were you, before sleeping in bed with her, I would come right out and say, "I feel a little weird about sleeping in your bed, I'd feel better if we had an understanding that nothing's going to happen." Then you won't lie there all night worrying what to do, and you won't wake up thinking that you blew your chance. The worst case scenario is that nothing will happen and you will wake up with trust and a special bond. And you will be sure to be invited back!

"I'm going out for some fresh air. Join me?"

If you hold out your hand, you break the ice without actually touching her first. Then she will take your hand.

In a business handshake (sorry i guess thats not very romantic) when you put out your hand the other party will almost never refuse the shake, unless something is drastically wrong!

[LordRuffleMontgomery]

Not to cheapen the sagelike advice of ganjasauras (I admire you're will to actually express all that in print), if you end up making a move, or things become fouled up, and there is some akwardness afterwards, there is always the tried and true tactic of saying you had too much to drink. That typically cleans off the slate, despite being too dishonest and tacky for my liking.

[wannagethigh]

Well i have some, i think, bad news. I knew that she had been hu with this guy but I had no idea what their status was. I asked her today if she was with him and she said, "I dont know, today he took me out to lunch so i'm happy."

as i think about the situation more, the less of a chance I think I have. I feel the odds are definatly against me.

I like that drunk excuse someone mentioned above. I'm definatly gonna be hammered, and i've definatly always been extremely attracted to her, so I still feel like there is no better opportunity than this saterday to try something. And whats the worst that will happen, a semi awkward situation that i can always play off as stupid drunkeness.

But still more advice/help is greatly appreciated. I'd love it if a girl could chime in too.

[Ganjasaurusrex]

Shes got a challenge game of her own going on.

Ignore it.

I have had this same scenario happen soo many times where she starts talking about these other guys. I just laugh to myself when ever I here this.

Brother let me tell you. I have had women tell me they have fiancees and boyfriends and yet when I dont play into the game they end up sleeping with me sometimes on the same night. So ignore who she is with. Act like you could care less. Dont ask. It doesnt matter. She is playing on your insecurities by saying she is so happy. Ignore, Ignore, Ignore.

Listen to me.

YOu must out game her. The guy that DOESNT play HER game is the guy she REALLY wants. That is what all women want is the guy that can out game her. All women play little games its a fact of life. It comes natural for women to play these games and they dont even have to think to do it.

From the time girls turn 13 they start networking with other girls on how to game the guys. Ive overheard countless strategies from my own sisters and thier other girl friends on these little games. "Tell him this", "Tell him that", "Do this do that". Its about all they talk about.

Sounds like you need more women at this party to throw her off. Play on her insecurities and make her compete with other women for your attention.


One thing about asking women for advice about approaching women,

If I tell a woman how to approach a man it is comming from a female prespective. I am not qualified to do so. Neither is a woman giving advice on how to approach women. They do not understand instinctive reactions of their own gender. Most answers usually come from an emotional base not an instinctive one you see. A man is best qualified to tell you how to play the game not a woman.

Avoid getting wasted. Youll get sloppy and make mistakes. Women hate it when you make mistakes and blame it on the alcohol.

Come on man dont let her play ya. Put her on her head so she doesnt know which end is up.

[wannagethigh]

Ganga: you are god. Right when i think there is no more hope u r there to put me in the right direction!

There are definatly gonna be way more guys than girls, but there will be another really hot girl there, who does have a bf. Shes my really good friend and i bet shed flirt with me ect just to help me out with this other chick. bad idea?