Quote Originally Posted by VoidLivesOn
If you don't remember I made a thread asking for help on writting a satiristic witty rant over high school for my short film I will be presenting to my high school video tech class.Heres what I have so far:

High school, a place where a variety of teenagers can get togeather and learn in harmony regardless of there race,gender, or dress preference.The very place students can get togeather and expand there horizons with the nectar of education.Heh...you'd have to be a moron to beleive this.I think what I really meant was, a place where social status rules all and if your not up to date with there crappy, unaptness noise they actually call music...well your just a waste of life.Not to mention- (then this is where I want to get into the stupid trends they only support because there peers are doing it and so are there idols on the tv screens.)

I already have the filming part down, alls i need is YOUR help to finish the rant.I'll take any ideas, post whatever you want.

Also I want some honest opinions on what I have so far, if you honestly think it sucks please tell me.Please refraim from being a dick and telling me it sucks because your bored.

Thanks.
I'm not too sure on what to write next, but if this is for high school, they will be marking you on grammer as well

Now, "their" "there" and "they're"...

"their" means as in possession. Here is an example from your paragraph:
The very place students can get togeather and expand there horizons with the nectar of education
Expand their horizons.

"there" means a place.Bob and Jim went over there

"they're" Means They Are

Also, put a comma after horizons....expand their horizons, with the nectar of...

Next, this:
I think what I really meant was, a place where social status rules all and if your not up to date with there crappy, unaptness noise they actually call music...well your just a waste of life

I see YOUR, in your case though, it should say "you're", as in, you are. Also, the last sentence, after WELL, put a comma...well, you're just a waste of life

Teachers are crazy picky about grammer man, just trying to help.

Peace
Nochowderforyou Reviewed by Nochowderforyou on . Help? If you don't remember I made a thread asking for help on writting a satiristic witty rant over high school for my short film I will be presenting to my high school video tech class.Heres what I have so far: High school, a place where a variety of teenagers can get togeather and learn in harmony regardless of there race,gender, or dress preference.The very place students can get togeather and expand there horizons with the nectar of education.Heh...you'd have to be a moron to beleive this.I Rating: 5