Disastrous sexual encounters

[couch-potato]

I walk into a gas station to buy a soda and walk up to the front counter, when I get there the clerk asks if I just stabbed somebody.

"Nope, just fucking virgins."

[GraziLovesMary]

lol how about the time I was nailin my ex with her ass hangin off the side of the bed and me standin up.. and my dad walked in. The door was to my back so I just walked the fuck out the room thinkin he would follow me, but he was so surprised he was just frozen on her whole naked ass hangin off the edge of the bed and she was so surprised she was too... lmao that was a baaaaaddd night.. lol.... i chased him up the stairs with my sword, hes lucky I threw that shit before runnin up after him lmao. HAhahahahahahaa ohhh man thats so funny to me now.. hahahahaha

[snowblind]

lol grazi that makes me piss reminds me of when i was at home gettin head. my mum walked in and saw me, turned around and then just walked out. i think she must have waited at the door for a minuate thinking we would stop, cus she walked in again and i was still there with my cock out in my g's mouth with my hands behind my head. she just walked out again and tutted.

like lets be honest was i really gonna get her to stop

peace snow

[DebuteMachine23]

I was about to stick it to my girlfriend and it turns out she was on her period. Red all over the place!

[snowblind]

urgggghhh, one of my x's mates was with this lad who insisted on going down her when she was on all the time. she said when he tried to kiss me with blood on his cheek i knew it was time to leave

wrong wrong wrong

[Orange Goblin]

Let's just say the 3rd or 4th time I tried anal... it wasn't so pleasant. *ugh*

[BBoyShotty]

alright well heres a fresh one...

Theres this girl who lives in my old town(about 2.5 hours away) who came and visited me last year. She had a crush on me for awhile, n when she came over we fooled around, but didn't fuck..The next few times i talked to her, she was telling me how she regrets not letting me go further, n how she'll make it up to me next time. So anyways, she was supposed to come back down a few weeks ago, but bailed on me so I'm thinking that i wont see her again till after the summer is over. Two weeks pass and i manage to convince her to visit me the following monday--which she did--so im thinking monday-wednesday(her visit) was gonna be a nice fuck buddy kinda trip, but damnnn, was i wrong...

So throughout the first day, she is flirty as hell--like usual--so im thinking everythings goin good..so finally when we're in bed, i start giving her signals n whatnot(eg: rubbing, kissing neck, cheeks, wahtever, etc. etc.) n shes responding, but when i moved in for a kiss, she stopped me, n im thinking, why all the mindgames?!?? n so she starts to procede that she started kinda seeing this guy who i know back frmo highschool who she HATED n how she wants be cautious, n then basically kisses me on the cheek, gives me a hug n tells me not to be mad, n continues to bash my head in saying somethin like, "if only i came the week i was supposed to, this woulda never happened"

Now shit, i respect her decision, but she definitely DID NOT give me the slightest idea that she is seeing someone..actually, i think the last thing she said to me was that we needed to go to stag shop(sex shop) n buy something for later...

bottom line, my balls hurt.

[higher4hockey]

this girl asked me one time while we were naked and i was on top of her, if i was only doing this because i was wasted (she liked me, i didnt particularly like her) my response: uhhh yeah...

[Orange Goblin]

this girl asked me one time while we were naked and i was on top of her, if i was only doing this because i was wasted (she liked me, i didnt particularly like her) my response: uhhh yeah...

OUCH! hahahahahah

[DebuteMachine23]

this girl asked me one time while we were naked and i was on top of her, if i was only doing this because i was wasted (she liked me, i didnt particularly like her) my response: uhhh yeah...

hahahaha, ooooo.... i bet you didnt get any did you?:smokin: