Disastrous sexual encounters

[Delta.9]

Haha, nice story! Why didn't you just "teach" her the ways of trimming and general "maintenance". Obviously she wasn't familiar with it and you could've had yourself a nice little play buddy!

Edit:

I couldn't understand your second story very well. Sounds like you were in the middle of blazin one and it just hit you! HAHAHA

[couch-potato]

Well a good friend of mine is a diabetic. We were at a party one night and apparently he fucked some chick in a bush without protection because she claimed to be on birth control. She was the only girl that night that I was interested in, so I amused myself with drinking games and got pretty hammered.

Well my friend has me carry his diabetes medication (insulin), because I was wearing a jacket that had a lot of pockets n such. I meet the girl later that he fucked, and she tells me that she just hooked up with my friend.

I jokingly reply, "Uh-oh, you might want to watch out for HIV now"
She laughs, being as we are both drunk. But then I stand up, and my friend's insulin falls out of my pocket. She asks what it is, and I (not thinking) reply, "His medication"

She instantly starting freaking the FUCK OUT, crying and shouting swears that would make a sailor blush. I'm drunk, confused as hell watching her storm off with her friends before I realized what I had just done. But it was too late, nobody knew her... I wonder what happened to her.

[Delta.9]

HOLY EFFIN SHIZA!!! That's funny, sad, and crazy all rolled into one!!!! :yippee:

[snowblind]

Haha, nice story! Why didn't you just "teach" her the ways of trimming and general "maintenance". Obviously she wasn't familiar with it and you could've had yourself a nice little play buddy!

Edit:

I couldn't understand your second story very well. Sounds like you were in the middle of blazin one and it just hit you! HAHAHA

lol yeah i read it back. ill rewrite it in the morning.

yeah that would have been a plan. not sure my gf at the time would have been to happy. she said if i ever dated her she'd be ashamed i had downgraded. skank, but true. i was just up for some one nite lovin

peace out

[Delta.9]

Hahaha, sounds good!

[joeskater]

i was having sex for a week or two with this one girl that i just met. When she told her one friend how good it was she wanted some. So we all decided to have a 3sum in my truck. Well it all started out good but when i started going downtown on the friend i couldnt perform. It smelt soo bad i couldnt even get fully hard, my whole truck smelt like her pussy. And ontop of that i was high. So it pretty much sucked. But oh well shit happens

[Dionysus]

I had this girlfriend once who had come over and cooked me some dinner. If I remember correctly it was some jalapeno enchiladas with a white sauce. Now they were pretty damn tasty, but you have to recall all the peppers and jalapenos we were using/deseeding.



Yeah needless to say she started crying after I fingered her.

Now that was bad.

[yoda]

the first night my ex came back a few months ago, i couldnt get an erection

[bcgirl]

One night in Tampa I picked up that Iranian girl cause she had enormous size of breast quadroloupe D, not saggy, perky, the biggest I have seen in person. I did not go down or checked the conditions, while having sex I felt some burning down there, then I realized she had pussy hair like 5-6 inches and tangled around my private, skin was off and the burning sensation grew each time I penetrated. F.cking bitch should have shaved it. Took me 2 weeks to heal, meaning no sex for 2 weeks....damn monstrous boobs, you fooled me.....

LMAO!!!
that is freakin hillarious!!!!
i didnt know pubic hair could get that long.... thats SOOOOO GROSS!!!!!
LMAO!!!!

[Blitzed]

Well, it wasn't really disastrous during sex, but what happened after was. I was with a girl in high school, and we had been dating for a few months, well she was a virgin, and we started doing the nasty in the back seat. I had heard that there is blood with some virgins, but I didn't know how much. Well, I guess we ended up on my shirt, and after the deed I didn't really look at it and just put it on. I walk into a gas station to buy a soda and walk up to the front counter, when I get there the clerk asks if I just stabbed somebody. Really bewildered I asked him what he meant, and he told me to look at my shirt. It had a nice amount of blood on it, I was so angry, but I know it wasn't her fault. It was veeeeeery embarrassing, and that's why I will never sleep with a virgin again.