Quote Originally Posted by Mr Greenthumb
My plan, was to totally devote myself to high because i love it so much. It's the base for which i live my life. And suddenly i became faced with something. The possibility that old dreams, asperations, goals can come true. If i decide to take a chance, and chase after an old desire then i will be throwing away a big of part of who i am today, giving up the devotion to the high.

If i go after these old dreams, which i'm not sure i care about too much, it would open up sooo many doors for opportunity's and i don't know if i like that idea. I like my devotion, my high is something i truly enjoy. More then anything, but something i used to want so badly in the past having a chance to become a reality? I don't know if it's worth chasing after anymore. I'm leaning toward sticking to the high i love so much but i'm still not sure.

Normally i would seek the council of mushrooms (they've always provided me with the answers to lifes problems) but this town has been dry of those for a while now.
Sorry, I suppose my last post didn't really address this but: Doubt is an inevitable part of life. Just deal with it and make a choice. Personally it sounds like you're deciding to not risk growing in any sorts of ways that might threaten your high. I think it's sad that you've made substance the source of happiness in your life, whether that substance is bud, or shroomies, or money, or a hot piece of ass. It's not that these things aren't to be enjoyed, but don't make them absolutes.
Don't be so bound to the past or the future that you won't live in the present.