And THIS is why she hasn't called ;)

[BizzleLuvin]

Boys, this is where you mess up during sex, in my opinion. From the thousands of stories I've heard in the public bathrooms, locker rooms and over coffee I'm going to point a few things you should do and should not do in my opinion BUT keep in mind, like men, all women are VERY different so some things may be true for one but not for another.

I have a few girls helping me with this too, it's not just my opinion

• If you feel the need to ask us if we came after sex, then we didn't
• If you ask us how many times, we're probably going to roll our eyes and say some ubsurd number which you'll probably believe for some odd reason.
• If we're on the rag, it doesn't matter how many times you ask...you're not getting any.
• Don't walk out of the bathroom and expect oral sex, we know in the back of our heads that you piss out of there but we don't want to be thinking about that as we're blowing you.
• We don't care about your car.
• Cuddling is nice, keep that in mind after you roll over and start snoring.
• Never, ever, ever talk about your ex (or any other girl that we don't know for that matter) unless you're insulting her.
• If you have to question anything in sex, it sucked.
• Yes, girls fake orgasms. It's true, but it's to please you, so don't think about it and don't ask about it...just enjoy the fact that we're trying to make you happy.
• Oral sex: that probing thing with your tongue kind of reminds us of E.T..pressure and technique is the key.
• Girls know not to use their teeth when giving head, so if they do...you've done something very, very, very wrong and you should put your little friend away as fast as possible.
• Hey...it's called a CLIT...make friends with it.
• Talk Sex with Sue, sunday nights..Oxygen channel..Watch it.
• Unless we tell you we want to try anal sex or somehow initiate it, DO NOT even try it.
• If you're going to finger a girl, remember the "Come here" trick. Instead of slamming them in and out of her, move them around, do the "come here" motion, slide them in and out slowly..variety is the key.
• Please don't look bored or distracted during sex, then we will be too and probably pissed off.
• Compliments are awesome, we love them but try and say "beautiful" instead of "hot" or "pretty", try and say "sweet" instead of "funny". You're our boyfriends or our lover, not the boy next door that we ride bikes with, kthnx.
• Burping and farting can be funny..just not in bed.
• Try to avoid saying "I love you" while fucking, unless you're "making love" it'll probably envoke five-thousand thoughts that'll distract us.
• Please don't push our heads down, just play with our hair or thrust slightly..gagging us with your dick will only result in vomit on your abs.

Feel free to add or discuss <3

yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 YOU GOT IT alll 100% correct!
AND THE 'COME HITHER' TECHNIQUE WAS MY IDEA! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[wannagethigh]

I actually just learned first hand this weekend, unfortunitly before I read this, how not to finger a girl. I started out with the "come hither" technique and then I started moving my fingers in and out. I asked her if it hurt and she said no, it feels great, dont stop. So I kept going harder and harder asking if it hurt and she stil said it felt great. I look at her pussy for a second and notice my fingers had blood on them. We talked about it and she said everything felt great, and that she is definatly not on her period. Anyway, i will never do that again.

[Paige]

This is Penguin and Paige...

^^^Dude, what the fuck!?

Blood!!?? Sick!!!!

Be gentle, you freak!

Your girl might be into s&m, too.

Freak.

Jeez



double u tee eff mate!!!!!


thats scary if that was me

i would cry

hahaha
<3

?STD??

[Musician]

woha penguin and paige mixed together

so penguin, did you go for paige?

[Paige]

woha penguin and paige mixed together

so penguin, did you go for paige?

Seems obvious, doesn't it?

...

Just waitin' on her

[Paige]

haha ok this is paige

like

i dont want a boyfriend

but i liked jakes friend ALOT

and he broke up with me cuz Jake was sad

and eyah

but i LOVE jake

as my brother

and as a best friend

but i guess maybe someday we could be more

<?3

[Harvesthetic]

I actually just learned first hand this weekend,... how not to finger a girl.

That's soooooooo ironic cracked me up

[Paige]

I know.

But why wait?

I mean, if you want to have fun, fine, I'll give you an open relationship.

I won't take advantage of it, because that's not my style.

But if you want one, you can have it.

And I won't break your heart.

Penguin's at your service.

And won't ever let you down.

So...yeah.

Confusing.

And stressful on the heart.

<3

[Paige]

JDSAFJKASHDFASHKJhuarajsdhfiasdfhaksjdfASDFHAJKSDH FKJasshoooooollleee ass hoooolllee sorry

orgasm JK

[Paige]

that was jake


sorry guys


tooo muuccchhh fuunn

haha

<3