And THIS is why she hasn't called ;)

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Boys, this is where you mess up during sex, in my opinion. From the thousands of stories I've heard in the public bathrooms, locker rooms and over coffee I'm going to point a few things you should do and should not do in my opinion BUT keep in mind, like men, all women are VERY different so some things may be true for one but not for another.

I have a few girls helping me with this too, it's not just my opinion

• If you feel the need to ask us if we came after sex, then we didn't
• If you ask us how many times, we're probably going to roll our eyes and say some ubsurd number which you'll probably believe for some odd reason.
• If we're on the rag, it doesn't matter how many times you ask...you're not getting any.
• Don't walk out of the bathroom and expect oral sex, we know in the back of our heads that you piss out of there but we don't want to be thinking about that as we're blowing you.
• We don't care about your car.
• Cuddling is nice, keep that in mind after you roll over and start snoring.
• Never, ever, ever talk about your ex (or any other girl that we don't know for that matter) unless you're insulting her.
• If you have to question anything in sex, it sucked.
• Yes, girls fake orgasms. It's true, but it's to please you, so don't think about it and don't ask about it...just enjoy the fact that we're trying to make you happy.
• Oral sex: that probing thing with your tongue kind of reminds us of E.T..pressure and technique is the key.
• Girls know not to use their teeth when giving head, so if they do...you've done something very, very, very wrong and you should put your little friend away as fast as possible.
• Hey...it's called a CLIT...make friends with it.
• Talk Sex with Sue, sunday nights..Oxygen channel..Watch it.
• Unless we tell you we want to try anal sex or somehow initiate it, DO NOT even try it.
• If you're going to finger a girl, remember the "Come here" trick. Instead of slamming them in and out of her, move them around, do the "come here" motion, slide them in and out slowly..variety is the key.
• Please don't look bored or distracted during sex, then we will be too and probably pissed off.
• Compliments are awesome, we love them but try and say "beautiful" instead of "hot" or "pretty", try and say "sweet" instead of "funny". You're our boyfriends or our lover, not the boy next door that we ride bikes with, kthnx.
• Burping and farting can be funny..just not in bed.
• Try to avoid saying "I love you" while fucking, unless you're "making love" it'll probably envoke five-thousand thoughts that'll distract us.
• Please don't push our heads down, just play with our hair or thrust slightly..gagging us with your dick will only result in vomit on your abs.

Feel free to add or discuss <3

BabyFacedAbortion Reviewed by BabyFacedAbortion on 01-16-2006. And THIS is why she hasn't called ;) Boys, this is where you mess up during sex, in my opinion. From the thousands of stories I've heard in the public bathrooms, locker rooms and over coffee I'm going to point a few things you should do and should not do in my opinion BUT keep in mind, like men, all women are VERY different so some things may be true for one but not for another. I have a few girls helping me with this too, it's not just my opinion If you feel the need to ask us if we came after sex, then we didn't If you Rating: 5

[Musician]

i agree with most of the statement, cept that these days of majority of bitches (sorry to call em like this), are goin to get a guy with an acura by preference, or someone with a lot of cash, or cool expensive clothes.

again im not talking about the majority of the girls, but a lot of the "hot chicks" as everyone calls them are like that

sad but true

[beachguy in thongs]

[*]Don't walk out of the bathroom and expect oral sex, we know in the back of our heads that you piss out of there but we don't want to be thinking about that as we're blowing you.
[*]Hey...it's called a CLIT...make friends with it.[*]Talk Sex with Sue, sunday nights..Oxygen channel..Watch it.

You're better off re-titling this thread, "Notes for Jay, in case he missed it".

As a matter of fact, you should forward it to his mail box.

I take care of myself after I piss because I know I might get a blowjob soon. We're not gonna make friends with your clit, we don't want one. Well, I guess we do. But we don't. I can remember, though, that she's yours and to be gentle with her.

I've watched that show and, fortunately, I don't get that channel, anymore.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Bwaha, Beach = <3, naw Jay already knew all of these things before I got with him..except for like the burping and farting one..and I need to add one like "Don't stick your finger in your girlfriend's bellybutton" or something lol.


Musician; "Hot chicks" aren't the kind of people I associate myself with because they ARE bitches, so I'm not speaking for those specific gold digging hoe bags

[friendowl]

"ah ah oh ah yeah right their hit that shit ah damn muthafucka i love your dick ah ah oh ah dont stop go go ima cum hit that shit daddy ah ah oh yeah the big one is coming go go faster harder ahhhhhh ohhhhhhh [moment of silence] ahhh damn that feels the bomb dont take it out ouu ah that feels so good" -- -- end quote

[beachguy in thongs]

"ah ah oh ah yeah

That cracked me up when I read that.

[Harvesthetic]

[*]Try to avoid saying "I love you" while fucking, unless you're "making love" it'll probably envoke five-thousand thoughts that'll distract us.
<3

That's a bit sad. For me fucking and making love are never far apart. And i'm not christian.
Anyway, what i wanted to add, don't pin yourself down on a manual.. Every girl is different, sure you can cover the basics, but in order to really please a woman variation and a continuous search for her perfect orgasm are key... You'll have her screaming or at the top of her voice or biting a piece off your shoulder. lol IMHO of course, but my GF's have always been very happy.

[loserstonergirl]

I Love This. I wish My Ex would have known some of this stuff lol maybe we would still be together...

[BabyFacedAbortion]

That is sad, but there's three types of intercourse in my mind; fucking, sex and making love.

Fucking is very raw and not so (i.e fuck buddies, lovers), sex is more passionate (between good friends, lovers, new boyfriends/girlfriends) and making love is very passionate and meaningful (you have to be in love to do this IMPO).

Like I said, all chicks are different so don't think that by any means I'm correct at all times, even though I like to think I am teheh.

[endo..jay]

You're better off re-titling this thread, "Notes for Jay, in case he missed it".

As a matter of fact, you should forward it to his mail box.

aww gee thanks beachguy the only one i really dont follow is the burping and farting..nothing like a good dutch oven