Shoot down in flames

[Nightstar]

Ok so thereâ??s this girl at work I find attractive, me and her have been looking at each other back and forth for a few weekâ??s now.

So today after work we where standing around for a bit chit chatting, so I walked up to her and asked her if she was doing anything this weekend and would you like to meet up someplace?

First she said she had no plans and then ask me back if I had any and I said no.
And then she changed her story to her and a â??friendâ?� where doing something together.
So I was like well ok, and that was it.

Now did she jest blow me off or what?

Or is it jest a bad idea in the first place to be asking a coworker out?

Nightstar Reviewed by Nightstar on 01-14-2006. Shoot down in flames Ok so thereâ??s this girl at work I find attractive, me and her have been looking at each other back and forth for a few weekâ??s now. So today after work we where standing around for a bit chit chatting, so I walked up to her and asked her if she was doing anything this weekend and would you like to meet up someplace? First she said she had no plans and then ask me back if I had any and I said no. And then she changed her story to her and a â??friendâ?� where doing something together. Rating: 5

[SneakerPimp]

its been a while since Ive been in that situation, but I think a lot of guys do the wrong thing... Asking someone out just outta the blue to me is not the way to go... Just talking here and there over time to her will get things going... and if she likes you, the both of you will get together somehow, someway... Thats how its always gone for me. I dont think Ive ever just gone up to some chic and said hey wanna go out or meet up? I guess not my style, plus usually girls try to talk to me first cos I'm shy, heh heh... But, Unless you know her well, I wouldnt do it, get to know her first... Just my advice and opinion, but good luck!

[Ganjasaurusrex]

You asked her "whether she was doing anything this weekend". ????????????What!!

Wrong approach. You should use confidence and be direct and take the lead.

"skiing, noon on sunday lets go" see the difference. Plan,time,direct. goodbye.

Shows confidence by being direct and having a plan. You also need phone skills.(see past posts and threads)

YOu threw the ball back in court what did you expect her to do.


Instead of saying you didnt have plans why dont you create some plans. Like being busy on Friday and Saturdays for the next 3 weeks. Give her a weekday or a sunday as a counter offer. but Fridays and Saturdays are off. Sorry. Its availablity perception. That is what she will react to is the challenge.

Id say you killed interest by being too available.


In the workplace huh?

Start chit chatting with some other girls in the workplace and make them giggle around the water cooler or something. She might wonder what all the noise is about.

Go for the home telephone number directly. "give me your home telephone number"
That shows confidence right off the bat. Because you took the risk of a rejection and if you say it like you expect it, then most of the time you do. Wait 5-9 days to call for the first time. Keep the phone call short. No chit chat. set a date and get off the phone.

The goal of the first date is to make it to the second date. Which alot of guys dont.
Dont plan or even ask about the second date while your on the first one. Make her wonder and anticipate.





Ya gotta learn all the phone skills.

[lemonboy]

Ganjasaurusrex, your advice is like something out of a 1980s dating manual. "Wait 5-9 days to call for the first time." Golly why don't we get Molly Ringwald and the rest of the Breakfast Club on the line and surprise her with a conference call.

Real men don't play games with their women. If she changed her story abruptly I'm sure it was for a good reason. Consider the character of a person that would do something like that to your face and move on.

[Ganjasaurusrex]

Lemonboy, how do you handle the phone with women?

[Ganjasaurusrex]

"Real men dont play games with their women"

Well let me inform you of the facts lemonboy.

She is not your property. The relationship is on her turf. She says when its over 90% of the time and she will do what she wants and when she wants to do it. "their women" what like your personal property or something. You dont own or possess women.

If you dont play her game then your off the turf. She "changed her story abruptly", because he was doing the wrong things, that is your GOOD REASON. There was nothing wrong with her character in the first place. It was the wrong approach. How about before "moving on" figure out why he had a chance in the first place.

[lateralus]

Real men don't play games with their women. If she changed her story abruptly I'm sure it was for a good reason. Consider the character of a person that would do something like that to your face and move on.

And I suppose real women don't play games? Hahaha. Idealistic viewpoint you have there. Have some coffee and a reality check.

[spatte21]

its as simple as this: Play hard to get. Most girls will eat it up, you just have to have patience. Patience is the key... good luck my friend

[Funkamander]

Here's my advice.

Stay away from all these shitty little guidelines. If a woman digs your shit, she'll dig your shit. She's not gonna be like, "Yeah, he's a cool cat. BUT, he called me THREE days after I gave him my number, not four. Close, but now I hate him forever."

[lemonboy]

She is not your property. The relationship is on her turf. She says when its over 90% of the time and she will do what she wants and when she wants to do it. "their women" what like your personal property or something. You dont own or possess women.

Yeah because that IS clearly what I meant and believe.

I contend that your threads are rubbish. You give advice on how to get into women's pants by playing mind games with them. I find this entirely disrespectful and have called you out on it a number of times. Don't try to spin it back at me.