chuck norris

[nakedgunner]

When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.

Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Ever.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

Chuck Norris smokes TNT.

nakedgunner Reviewed by nakedgunner on 01-09-2006. chuck norris When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead. Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel. Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Ever. Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter. Rating: 5

[flamingskullballs]

ok :stoned:

[dopesmoker]

i am chuck norris

[darkside]

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

When Chuck Norris was a teenager, he once impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the Himalaya mountains. 9 months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in NFL history.

When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chuckâ??s tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab. :stoned:

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris masturbates with a sledgehammer.

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

chuck norris fears only the ghost of bruce lee.


i am bruce lee's demons.

[Jeff Spicoli]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris' blood type is KO.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris won 3 Grammy Awards for the sound of his foot making contact with someone's face.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.'
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

[shrek45]

Thanks for this useless shit

[chillsmoke]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
fuckin chuck norris..

[Jeff Spicoli]

if you don't find that funny, your pretty boring or something...

[Ganjasaurusrex]

I did. Hilarious.