What you experienced with your Mother is very traumatic.You need to realize that people make choices.You mom made a choice to be unfaithful.Your mom choose to try to harm herself.These are not your choices and you need to realize that we cannot control what others do.It is sad when those we care about make poor choices.Alcohol is not the answer.I am not trying to be corny but take a walk,talk here or wherever you feel comfortable and where you can express how you are feeling..I promise you will not always feel this way..

Blessings..
Starr