What Do You Look Like Described In Words?

[beachguy in thongs]

an asshole, because I am wearing a polo shirt and a sweater.

You look like an asshole, huh.

It must be a black polo shirt and a dark brown sweater.

Almost a legal midget, big ass, choppy hair, glassy/glazed eyes.

Hey, if I can get the paperwork so you can claim "Midgetry" and collect government benefits, will I get a cut?