Rastaman, I know EXACTLY what you're going through... because I am a spiritual person, people think I don't even know what I am going on about. They laugh because they don't believe what I believe and they state that I am wrong, and that God is the one who controls everything. But I have never doubted God's existence... only how he is perceived. And people always give me shit for that... but it's ok, because they'll all learn their lessons. So will I... I could be wrong, I'm not denying that... but couldn't there be the possiblity that God isn't what everything thinks he is? Couldn't it be posssible that the deeper we go into shamanism or into our beliefs that we are just going deeper into our mind? I don't think it's sounds far-fetched, do you?