Dating: "you can trust me"

[Ganjasaurusrex]

Ollah gents!

This is topic #7 concerning dating and the concept of trust.

This is an important issue in dating. What does she mean by this and what is the test at hand for you to properly respond to when she brings up the issue?, which she will, in my case 100 percent of the time from past experience, at a certain time when she wants to move forward.

Men rarely bring up the issue and typically respond to it wrong by saying something such as, "you can trust me". That ranks right up there by saying "I love you on the second date". She interprets this as cheap words.

Heres a look at why this is so important. The dictionary only gives vague meanings of the word and its real meaning and sub values.

When she is referring to the word or value of trust she is talking about the following things that I call the four sisters of trust.

Trust to her means, (and you as well after reading this):

Honesty: You tell the truth.
Integrity: You do what you said you will do.
fidelity: You are emotionally and sexually loyal.
Reliability: You are there emotionally and/or physically to do things.

Trust is important in that it is the absolute foundation on which a relationship is built. Intimacy, (both sexual and non-sexual cant exist at all without it in a relationship). Getting dings in anyone of these areas causes her to not "trust" you.

When she brings up the issue of trust what is the test? It is not for you to say, "you can trust me". Its more important that you memorize the four sisters of trust and be prepared for it ahead of time when the topic comes up, which it will.

So instead of saying "you can trust me" say this,

"So when your talking about trust what you are saying is that Honesty, Integrity, Fidelity, and Reliability are important to you, that is very important to me also".

By doing this she will be understood that you understand the parameters of the word and by saying its important to you also shows that you are also to be respected in the trust department.

Remember in a womans world she cant love you if she doesnt respect you. Saying "you can trust me", shows no respect for yourself. Trust is a two way street. Trust is what one says to you, equals what that person does when you are not around.

Trust is unique in that it has the ability for you to raise her interest level in you. Her interest level and her comfort level are two important things to remember when dealing with women.

Can she love you 100 percent if she can only trust you 80 percent? Interest level therefore is a degree of feeling toward you. Getting dings in the trust department causes resentment, the silent relationship killer. Its a slow process and works like termites. Sooner or later the house will cave in.

Its difficult if not impossible for her to trust again once you have made mistakes in the areas of trust. She may or may not bring the issue up. Some women harbor resentment for a long time and dont forget, (which is even worse). If she does bring up the issue of a ding in the trust department review my post, "diffusing the angry woman" to help restore trust correctly, and make sure that she forgives you, so that resentment is not held. This might take some time.

The best way to end a bad habit is to not start it in the first place.

You have to back up trust on your end as well and be prepared to either forgive or walk and not look back, it just depends on you or the situation. But it is important to be respected on this issue as it is just not her issue.


Your body language tip of the day:

When your walking down a city street with your woman. Keep her on the side of the sidewalk where the buildings and shops are while you are on the side closest to the traffic side. You want to lead the pace about 2 or 3 steps slightly faster than her.

I see guys walking down the street and she is on the traffic side and he is closest to building side and she is walking slightly faster than him. Wrong.

When you do this properly the body language conveys two things.

A. You are confident.
B. You are protecting her,( but not in a possessive way) from cat calls/staring from the traffic side.

Think about it guys put yourself in the womens shoes for a minute. Doesnt it seem akward when not done properly?


Your womanese tip of the day:

"I Love you", that is womanese for, "Its your turn to say it".

But dont confirm it with those words "I love you", I want you to remain a challenge. Word it however you want without confirmation such as "I have strong feelings for you". Its important to continually challenge her emotionally with hope and a little bit of doubt of where she stands with you. I want miss right to be head over heals for you not bored with conformation.


That be your tip O' the day. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLater!

Ganjasaurusrex Reviewed by Ganjasaurusrex on 12-23-2005. Dating: "you can trust me" Ollah gents! This is topic #7 concerning dating and the concept of trust. This is an important issue in dating. What does she mean by this and what is the test at hand for you to properly respond to when she brings up the issue?, which she will, in my case 100 percent of the time from past experience, at a certain time when she wants to move forward. Men rarely bring up the issue and typically respond to it wrong by saying something such as, "you can trust me". That ranks right up Rating: 5

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Hm, I skimmed it but I suppose that's right.

Saying "I trust you" and "I love you" go hand in hand..and are both completely frightening.

[flamingskullballs]

i love you baby

[lemonboy]

People that play games in their relationships aren't serious about them to begin with. Leaving someone with a "little bit of doubt of where she stands with you" isn't an act of love and it is ridiculous to interpret a submissive reaction to this behavior as being "head over heals" for anything. By choreographing a relationship you're just manipulating the situation into something that APPEARS to be love but really isn't.

Trolling for some submissive little Southern Belle is a good way to end up checking the "Divorced" box for the rest of your life.

Be real, love, challenge and be challenged.

[Wesley Pipes]

why does everyone assume its the guy who's more likely to cheat or won't take the relationship serious, can't women ever cheat and be deceitfull in a relationship, personally i'm looking for the right girl cuz i want to experience love its something that i've never known, apart from family and friends, and if i found it i would give anything to hold on to it, i think women stereotype men too much... we r all different!!

[Ganjasaurusrex]

I didnt create the game I just figured out the rules. Where have you ever heard anyone talk about a womans second language vernicular of "womanese" or the fact that she "tests" , both of which are a huge part of "the game" in the beginning. Did I invent that? Or did I learn to respond to it?

If you can't cant create doubt by making the game an emotional challenge you will be labeled "nice" in other words NOT emotionally challenging. Dont believe me? ask any woman. What happens when your "nice". Your history. So being yourself in that way does not work.

Who said anything about a submissive reaction. I just got through talking about mutual respect which is the foundation for love. I have no idea what you mean. Neither party is being manipulated or forced into submission.

For her to love you intensely a man must do these things or she will quickly loose interest in you.


There are five versions of "the game" and I think people misunderstand me at times. This version is the one where you dont get hurt and she loves you intesely and it is the one she responds to in a positive way. The other versions of "the game", each gender has two, will hurt you and will hurt her. So I dont want you to throw all the "games" into one definition.


And why would this version of the game suggest that I am not serious about that person when I am talking extensively about trust to begin with! and not about sex? Is an extensive talk about trust manipulating? Is proper body language manipulation? and being a challenge is not manipulation because you just confirmed what I said in your last sentence.


"head over heals", what do think a woman is talking about when she means "swept off my feet"? Confirm everything along the way and she will find you boring. Youll never hear the real reason why you got dumped.

I have dated some tough women in the last 20 years and if you dont have a clue about the "game" she likes ,your gone, its as simple as that, I dont care what you look like or how much money you have or what you own.

"Be real,love, challenge and be challenged" (your words). What is the difference between doubt and challenge? Those two words are brothers to one another. In "asking a woman out the right way" I think I already covered the concepts of Challenge,Confidence, and Self control from the beginning.

"the divorced box" is a result of men getting lazy. They dont do the things that attracted her in the first place. They think "shes mine now work is over". Challenge is continuation throughout dating and marriage. Divorce is most likely the result of resentment from using her as a one way emotional gas station and getting dinged in the trust department.

"People that play games in their relationships arent serious about them to begin with"
(your words)
"Be real, challenge and be challenged"
(your words)
Now seems to me you just contradicted yourself. Isnt being a challenge a form of "the game"? Why not just say here, take me as I am if you want to be yourself.

[flamingskullballs]

this thread is what happens when men try to figure women out..ad redsox and the man in my signature, and well have a real party!!!

[Wesley Pipes]

game? who said anything about a game, life and love are not games u only get one shot then u die, u urself r telling guys what to say, so how can we really mean it if we thought about it beforehand, words like "i love u" should come from the moment and from the heart and should not be scripted, when/if i get married, for example, i will say my own vows... i will not write them a month/week/day before the wedding, i say what i feel at the excact moment the priest or whatever says "now say your vows" cuz then and only then will i know that my words have come from the heart. I see this thread as tips on how to make a girl fall in love with u when in reality she SHOULD love u for who u r, not who u pretend to be cuz how can u trust someone without hearing their OWN words instead of a script.

[scobbie]

well said the words of a true scot.wesleypipes
peterheedmanwhataplaceawenttherewanceforfiveyearin 1985wenitwisanicknoapheedosjail

[flamingskullballs]

i want to fuck you