it was spawned by my own actions and how so many things I do and think have been shadowed by people who have affected me negatively. I want to live without that taint to me, without fear that someone else will treat me like that. I want to take my power back from those people, and I did.

this is an old something from one of my journals, I'm not angry.

You are right, when bad things happen to me, I forget them on purpose and try to put it behind me.