Dating: Tough guys, nice guys, gentlemen

[Ganjasaurusrex]

This little bit of advice will save you a lot pain when dealing with women.
Most guys dont know how to align themselves when dealing with miss right.

I will tell you a secret about the three of these personality types and why you only want to be one and why women find that only (one) type is the most attractive quality in a guy she is looking for.

What is a gentleman? First what is a toughguy/macho guy and why does this guy fail with women.

Imagine a spectrum line. To the far left is the toughguy/macho guy to the far right is the nice guy.

The toughguy/Macho guy will always fail with women just like the nice guy.
The problem with macho guy is he says the word "No" too often to his woman. He has been brainwashed by society. He somewhere heard that women dont like niceguys so he thinks, "OK I will be the opposite of nice". He may as well be this woman's prison gaurd. He misinterpreted the word "nice" and does just the opposite when nice really means to be an emotional challenge. He is not about SELF-Control which is one of the things women want, he is all about TOTAL CONTROL which no woman wants. He will have some sucess with women because in the beginning she misinterpreted his ability to say "no" as showing that he has backbone. She will leave him. When you think of a macho guy, think these words, DOMINEERING, CONTROLING, NON TRUSTING, SAYS "NO" TOO MUCH, INSECURE, DISRESPECTFULL TO WOMEN IN GENERAL, IS TYPICALLY A BLOCKER TO OTHER MEN. His not trusting attitude manifests itself into a self fulfilling prophecy with her. Combine this with his dumping off negativities on his woman as a one way emotional gas station and color her gone. We all know a macho guy. GUYS, NEVER EMULATE A TOUGH GUY SHE DOESNT WANT A TOUGH GUY. These guys are typically abusers of women. Prisons are filled with these guys. If he doesnt understand a woman, especially if she tests or uses "womanese" he gets frustrated and verbally or physically abuses the woman because he doesnt understand her language.

The nice guy. He's to the far right of the spectrum. The nice guy never says the word "no" to a woman. He's always too accomodating. He gives and gives and gives. He will fail with women. He doesnt get as far a macho guy does but ends up like him in the end, no woman. The nice guy doesnt understand the concepts of challenge and is probably scared to be a challenge to a woman. He thinks if she hears the word "no" she will leave. He
just says here I am, take me as I am. Nice guys dont abuse women, here its the other way around. Take the notion of the hen-pecked husband. He may as well be underdog saying "yes dear". After several failed relations as a nice guy he starts to think like the toughguy. "I will be the opposite of nice". Like macho guy he doesnt understand what "nice" actually means. So he too has transformed himself into something she doesnt want. What a vicous cycle.

Neither one of these types will change their ways until they have endured enough emotional PAIN from a woman. OUCH! How many years will these guys suffer before they understand this concept and change their ways?

The gentleman.

I dont know why when I think about the word gentleman an image of a guy from the 1930s with a black tux, a top hat and a cane come into my mind?
What is a gentleman? A gentleman is exactly what it says, Gentle-MAN. the gentleman falls right in the middle of the spectrum in between the nice guy and the tough guy.
The gentleman is a nice guy with a rough edge. He knows that saying the word "no" once in awhile when he really means it is the most important thing in his attitude and posture. When a gentleman does something for his woman and doesnt hear a "thank you" he politely lets her know it. Gentlemen look forward in dating to the first clash in the dating relationship, he knows he has to be ready for this test. He has to have the ability to not to take her back when she pulls a disrespect. He can say it without being mean,cruel or degrading to her. When you think of the word gentleman think: CONFIDENT, SECURE, SELF CONTROLLING, DOESN'T LET BLOCKERS GET TO HIM, (see post on blockers/helpers), CHALLENGING, RESPECTS WOMEN IN GENERAL. Opening the car door, holding the door open, pulling out her chair in a restaurant etc. are not veiwed as "too nice" traits by the woman. Being a Gentleman is never viewed by the woman as weak. You can still be a 240 lb linebacker and still be a gentlemen through your posture and composure.

EMULATE THE GENTLEMAN THIS IS WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS IN A MAN.

Do you think if men aligned themselves correctly that there would be:
a. fewer men in prison.
b. A lot less rejection of men by women ,(which leads to another set of
problems in a vicous cycle, i.e. marriage counsellors, men that withdrawl
all together, suicides, alcohol abuse, etc.)
c. successful relations for both.

Its important that we teach our younger brothers this,we teach our sons this, and we tell our buddys this when their stuck.


Past relevant posts,

Dating: Honesty and Openess.(this will open your eyes).
Asking a woman out the right way.
Dating: Blockers and helpers.(which one are you).


G'day gents and top hat off to ya, and....................Ill call ya! lol

Ganjasaurusrex Reviewed by Ganjasaurusrex on 12-12-2005. Dating: Tough guys, nice guys, gentlemen This little bit of advice will save you a lot pain when dealing with women. Most guys dont know how to align themselves when dealing with miss right. I will tell you a secret about the three of these personality types and why you only want to be one and why women find that only (one) type is the most attractive quality in a guy she is looking for. What is a gentleman? First what is a toughguy/macho guy and why does this guy fail with women. Imagine a spectrum line. To the far left Rating: 5

[redsoxfan49]

thats a lot of words, way too many to read

[maskedpantsman]

thats a lot of words, way too many to read

agree'd.
rough sex is hot.

[Edgar]

Nice post, but fuck the game... Maybe I'll change, but at this point in my life I'm that guy that withdrew all together.

I'm not going to pretend to be some imaginary prince valiant that they all seem to think they can actually find.

[lemonboy]

I'm not going to pretend to be some imaginary prince valiant that they all seem to think they can actually find.

Here here! :thumbsup:

[trapped in a dream]

Thx for the advice, im buying a tuxedo right now

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

well said man well said.

i guess i am a genital man

[hipEstoner]

Here here! :thumbsup:

here here! :thumbsup:

[ladyM]

Very well put! When I think of a gentleman, my husband is the first person to pop into my head. He tells me he loves me when he calls every day from work, he doesnt care what the other guys think. He holds doors, opens my car door, pulls out my chair for me, holds my coat, and shows affection in public, ( not so much people want to tell us to get a room ). I do get my way a lot, but when he says no, I back right the f*** down. Ken is fairly quiet and in 19 years hes only yelled back 5x tops. When he does yell, I STFU!
Too many women just dont know what they have till its gone and thats sad. Too many men are NOT gentlemen and I think most of us know that and we tend to shut down emotionally too. A true gentleman deserves a true gentlewoman as well.

[Caruso329]

Fantastic post. I have been both extreme nice guy and extreme macho guy, but now I have a healthy balance as a true Gentleman.