Here's a suggestion. Buy a ruler that folds in half so you can carry it in your back pocket. That way, next time you are tempted to get into a "brawl" over the "ladies" that you "stole" from some "tough guy" with your mad "kick boxing" skills, you two can just whip it out and measure your dicks before any fists are thrown.

Oh don't lie to us, honey. You live for the drama. Personally, I find your public display of pre-pubescent-esque angst highly amusing.