aw that's crap man. Still, you strike me as being a well-balanced human being. All well-balanced people maintain that state by dealing with things that get you off-balance. It's ying-yang again. Can't have balance without things that aren't stable. (sry seems weird)
Anyway, judging by your posts you're a smart, laid-back person with a nice view on things. In my opinion you stick by your principles.
And a man that sticks by them, may call himself a man.
So, call yourself a man, try to act butch for a few days, and the spirits will lessen the bourdon (sp?) on your shoulders.
Maybe this helps, cuz i think you're great
Hang in there pal, here are the lyrics to the "Galaxy Song" by Monty Python's Eric Idle. They usually cheer me up

Galaxy Song - Monty Python
Whenever life get you down, Mrs. Brown,
And things seem hard or tough.
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
And you feel that you've had quite enu-hu-hu-huuuuff!
Just - re-member that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
and revolving at 900 miles an hour,
It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned,
the sun that is the source of all our power.
The Sun and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
are moving at a million miles a day,
In the outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour,
of the Galaxy we call the Milky Way.
Our Galaxy itself contains 100 billion stars,
it's 100,000 light-years side-to-side,
It bulges in the middle, 16,000 light-years thick,
but out by us it's just 3000 light-years wide.
We're 30,000 light-years from galactic central point,
we go round every 200 million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
in this amazing and expanding universe.
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
in all of the directions it can whizz,
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light you know,
twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
how amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
because there's bugger all down here on Earth.