I want to say something important about HONESTY and OPENESS when it comes to dating and relationships.

It seems women believe that the two are one in the same. If your not open you are not being honest. I disagree. I know the two are different and that is why the dictionary gives them two seperate meanings and that is why they are spelled differently.

This is nugget of truth I will give you is the number one reason why men fail early in dating and why women divorce you without you knowing what went wrong. Dont look for Dr.Phil, Ophra, Tyra Banks, The mars and venus guy to tell you this because they have it totally backwards.

If you read my last two posts then let me ask you this. How come Dr.Phil, Ophra and the mars and venus guy never mention that a woman:

A. Will test you.
B. Have a second language called "womanese", which is not lying but is surely confusing to men.
C. Respond to challenge.

The "experts" in the field have failed to recognize that these three things make up a huge part in relationships. Now lets see where us men have really been dooped by these people. I will admit some of their stuff is good. But I know what women do and dont respond to and that IS the bottom line comming from streetsmarts.

These experts have brainwashed an entire population of men in thinking that it is appropriate for a man to share his negatives in order to build intimacy. When I say intimacy, I am talking about the non-sexual kind.

So what do guys do when they start dating? They pour it on heavy. They think if she hears all these negative things in your life the two of you will be more bonded. I say BE VERY CAUTIOUS HERE.

By all means guys be an HONEST man. Dont lie to your woman. Her intuition can see right through those whoppers so dont ever start. Its not so much the lie but the fact that you expect her to believe it which insults her intellegence.

Openess is something you have to handle like firecrackers guys.

WHEN A MAN CONFIDES HIS NEGATIVES TO A WOMAN HE MAKES HER INTO HIS MOTHER OR PHYSCOLOGIST, WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR LOVER INTO YOUR MOTHER SHE WILL LOVE YOU LIKE A SON AND NOT A HUSBAND.

A woman wants intimacy, (knowing herself through you, by reflective listening).
Thats fine. But there are two piles in your mind when its time for you to share. I have a simple rule. SHARING POSITIVE EXPERIENCES BUILDS INTIMACY. AND REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD BY THE EXPERTS, NEGATIVES KILL INTIMACY.

Here I will say it a different way. You have two stacks of experieces in your mind. One comes from positive experieces and the other negative experiences. When your woman said in the beginning, "I want a guy with a sense of humor" what she really means is not the ability of you to crack jokes. A sense of humor really means that you draw off the positive stack of experieces when it comes to intimacy.

If you get uncomfortable with her questions try and counter that with banter and humor and steer back to your balance of positive experiences, which keeps you in the safe zone.

She will never tell you that she is resentful that you have treated her like a one-way emotional gas station. Resentment is alot like termites. Time is on their side and sooner or later they will bring the house down.

So how does a guy turn this around? What do you have to offer her that keeps her? Who is more in control a man who needs emotional support or a man who gives it? Who is more in control the one who leans or the one who is leaned on. Got it? Being emotionally supportive is not hard to do. Basically it means just being a skilled reflective listener.

Guys, I have a simple solution. I have a german shepard named Max. You can tell Max anything negative and he will always be there for you. You could tell Max about the worst disasters, failed past relations, anything and that dog will remain your loyal friend. Mull things over by yourself or with your dog and in a couple of days you know you always come back to your balance. My bottom line, save the negativities for Max and your buddies and keep a "sense of humor for your girl".

"No honey thats ok you go out with the guys tonight"

Thats womanese for: "Stay with me tonight" ! Dont say I didnt warn ya!
Ganjasaurusrex Reviewed by Ganjasaurusrex on . Dating: Honesty and Openess. I want to say something important about HONESTY and OPENESS when it comes to dating and relationships. It seems women believe that the two are one in the same. If your not open you are not being honest. I disagree. I know the two are different and that is why the dictionary gives them two seperate meanings and that is why they are spelled differently. This is nugget of truth I will give you is the number one reason why men fail early in dating and why women divorce you without you Rating: 5