I know exactly what you mean!!!

I am learning that if you dont have expectations of others, they wont disappoint you. A long hard lesson for me since I want to believe in humanity and even after all these years of having been disappointed by things, people, events, I still want to believe.
I try to look people in the eye when they speak to me, but I tend to look all over the place when I talk to them. Its not easy for me to make friends or for people to make friends with me. I dont like people all that much, I prefer the company of animals more.
They dont talk back and they love you no matter what you have going on.

I am growing some balls here lately though. I am beginning to understand some truths about life and Im not rebelling, just not letting it slide anymore. At one time I was an in your face type of person and I would let everyone within earshot know what I thought. Now I recognize that we all have a path to follow and my opinions arent going to change things, only my actions can make the difference. Karma is playing a huge roll in my attitude toward a lot of things as well. I realize that what you give out comes back three fold, so I sit back and shut up when someone is spouting stupidity and let them show what fools they are, noone needs me to point it out for them. But its hard to keep my mouth shut, especially if I know more on the subject than they do, but its not worth wasting my breath on an idiot.

I guess Im coming out of the broom closet and its giving me back the confidence I lost in myself. I just temper it with discretion, patience, tolerance, and compassion.
I had to learn to look in the mirror before I could look at other people for what they are, otherwise I would still be looking away. I am not into large gathering of people either, especially people I dont know, I usually dont want to know them either. I smile and nod and can never think of anything witty when I need it so like you , I kick myself whan later I come up with something and it becomes moot, but I kick myself anyway. I dont have much in common to discuss with women and women dont like it if you hang out with their men so I I quietly roam from group to group with that smile pasted on my face and dont say much.

OK, thats all
ladyM Reviewed by ladyM on . Living Room Dementia There is a crystal moment of clarity when that third eye opens. I see things now I was blind too, perspective opens up before me and it's terrible, beautiful, awful to behold. THIS! YES THIS! this precious golden truth, this radiant sunbeam of realization blazing into my fucking brain THIS, IS ME!!!!!!! I stopped paying attention to people a long time ago. I got so tired of looking up and seeing derision, rejection, laughter, I just don't look up. I'm not scared, just tired. I can't search Rating: 5